Interview with Julie Marie

Posted by Helen on: 06.20.2006 /

Julie Marie has kindly agreed to be our second online interview candidate.

The purpose of this interview is to give you the opportunity to listen to Julie Marie as she shares her thoughts and opinions with you.

If you want to discuss whether Julie Marie’s views are correct, we invite you to do that here on the discussion board. Julie Marie is welcome to participate in discussions there about her views if she wants to. If she doesn’t have the time or inclination that’s fine with us - we don’t consider doing so ‘part of the interview’.

I’d like to post more online interviews. If you’d like to send one in, you can find the instructions and questions here.

please share a little about yourself with us

What screen name do you post under — so we know you when we see you?

Julie Marie

Would you like to share any of the following so we can know you better: your age range, whether you’re married or single, have children, what kind of work you do, what area of the U.S. (or other country) you live in?

I am 45, married, and the mother of a 3 year old boy. I’m a nurse case manager in the southeastern US. Other family members include 2 10-year-old dogs and 2 1-year-old cats. If we’d been born or raised somewhere out west, my husband and I agree we would probably have made a pair of happy buffalo ranchers. We love the outdoors and we love animals and we don’t mind hard work or getting dirty.

What do you like to do when you have some time to yourself?

When I have time to myself I like to read and respond to this blog. I also like reading, arts and crafts, playing my flute, and puttering in my garden. Time to myself is a scarce thing these days though, usually my free time is spent with my family. We like to water ski on the rivers here in the summer (its too hot to do anything outside that doesn’t involve water when you live in SC). In the other season (the not summer season, short around here) we ride our bikes and spend a fair amount of time at area playgrounds.

Please share with us something you really enjoy about your life.

I enjoy seeing the world anew through my son’s eyes. I can’t wait to take him to Disney World next spring. I did not think that I would ever have the opportunity to be a mother — my son was the surprise of a lifetime. I was at peace with my infertility, and had built a rewarding, fulfilling, and successful life. At 40, I attributed the most common indicator of pregnancy to impending menopause…although I did find it odd that suddenly I lost my taste for coffee and chocolate! (interestingly enough, my son is unable to handle even the smallest amounts of caffeine. He admits, “caffeine makes me wild.”) The joy of mothering a healthy active boy at this stage of my life is a blessing that overflows my heart with gratitude daily.

If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about you or your life, what would it be?

I would heal the degenerative disc disease that has necessitated a spinal fusion. Although the surgery was successful, and I am able to do much more than I could before hand, I still have to be very careful as we elected to fuse only one level despite marginal discs above and below the fusion. I am still fairly active , but I am not nearly active or as daring as I used to be…the fear of the consequences of an injury holds me back from trying many things. Fear and pain are unpleasant realities for me. I have a doctor that understands I will do things like water ski, garden, and play hard with my son, and that sometimes I will need pain relievers or physical therapy or both, so I am grateful for that. I would have a hard time adapting to the limitations of my body without his help.

You and Conversation at the Edge

How did you find Conversation at the Edge (or, the eBay atheist blog) and what drew you to post in the comments section?

I read about Hemant’s auction on a blog for evangelical Christian leaders. The responses to his auction ranged from bemused interest to anger to eagerness to reach him for Christ. When I looked him up on eBay, I was impressed by the answers he gave to questions from bidders, and followed up shortly after the auction closed to find that Off The Map won. I had already stumbled upon Off The Map and was familiar with their goal to make Christians more normal. I liked the conversation on the eBay atheist blog. My first response was to a question Ir posed — how come Christians aren’t any better than the rest of society? Once I started responding, I was engaged and didn’t want to stop.

Is this the first time you’ve participated in any online discussions on the internet? If not, could you share with us what other sorts of online discussions you like to participate in?

I’ve lurked on other Christian blogs. This is the first discussion I’ve participated in. And it’s still the only blog I post on. The quality of the conversation and the range of topics covered keep me busy enough!

Has posting on Conversation at the Edge (or the eBay atheist blog) changed you in any way?

Indeed it has. This conversation has caused me to examine the basis of my faith. I am on a quest now to get to the heart of who Jesus is, and I am grateful for the input of both believers and non-believers at this site. The answers I’ve come to, from questions I hadn’t thought to ask before coming here, have freed me in many ways, and the effects have not been just spiritual. The freedom and new flexible way of approaching problems has allowed me to consider exploring a career option I had dismissed categorically several years ago. Furthermore, participating and following the interactions between people of such different views has shown me ways to engage positively with others IRL who have different views. I had not been able to do that previously — huge differences were threatening to me…I didn’t know how to work towards common ground.

You and church/other groups

Were you raised going to church and are you currently a church attender?

My mother fulfilled her Catholic obligation to get me through first communion and then stopped my exposure to church. She was a seeker though, and with her I explored multiple alternative beliefs. I returned to the Catholic Church when I started dating the man who became my first husband. I left Catholicism after that marriage ended. I was at a loss for how to meet the spiritual needs, and fearful of making a bad choice. ¬(My father got waaaayyyy into some new age, almost cultic, beliefs at a place called the Center for Esoteric Philosophy when he moved to Houston. He badly frightened me with doomsday thinking at a vulnerable time in my life. I was literally inconsolable and hysterically wild with fear, and my unbalanced, unhealthy state lasted for 3 days. As recently as 2 years ago I was still vulnerable to the terrors of his words, even though I knew intellectually they were bunk. He remains a fan of John Hagee.)

Ten years ago, with these concerns in mind, I started attending a conservative evangelical Christian church, figuring they wouldn’t grab half a concept and run with it down some destructive road. I currently do not attend any church, but I do expect at some point I will put the effort into finding a church that is more compatible with my beliefs now, which are falling into the postmodern camp. I am looking for a church whose focus is more on discipleship than evangelism. For the present time I read, pray, blog, ponder, and actively look for ways to MTWABP.

What is your main reason for choosing to be a church attender/not to be a church attender at present?

I have attended authoritarian churches for over 20 years and need to take time out to think things through for myself. I have accepted someone else’s simple answers to complex questions for too long now.

Apart from church are there any groups you participate in regularly for faith-based, social and/or self-improvement reasons?

I joined a philanthropic group called Women Making a Difference recently. Their focus is on helping women and children in my area. I am impressed by their stewardship and their mission. I also belong to a gym for the obvious reasons — I’m aging and don’t intend to give in without a fight! Also, I want to stay healthy and active for as long as I can, so I can enjoy my life and my family fully. I still participate with my old church’s community assistance programs.

Is there anything else (outside work and family) which you devote significant time to? Or used to, or hope to in the future? (We understand that for some of you, work and family takes up almost all your time at present)

My dream is to help people who don’t think the American dream was meant for them find a way to realize their potential. The group I joined, Women Making a Difference, is my first step — I’m learning about fundraising and I’m learning what programs are already in place in my community and how they work. Once my son starts school I hope to complete my transition to a new career path which will allow me to devote more time and money to my dream.

Labels people might use behind your back (and sometimes to your face): “fundy” or “fundamentalist”

Please answer the following questions if this is true of you: “I have beliefs about Jesus, God (as I understand God to be) and/or the Bible which are important and beneficial to me and which I try to share with others because I believe these beliefs would be important and beneficial for them also”

Has anyone ever called you a “fundy” or “fundamentalist”? Have you heard or read anything which tells you that some people talk about you like that behind your back?

I wouldn’t know if I’ve been called a fundy, but I was most surprised to see that my old beliefs put me squarely in the Falwell camp after I took a little quiz on beliefnet about 6 months ago. I remember thinking Falwell was a nut when I was growing up in VA (we heard a lot about him back then.)

How would you/do you feel about being called a “fundy” or “fundamentalist”?

The term has come to be understood as pejorative, so I wouldn’t like it.

Are you aware of any assumptions or associations people make about “fundies” which don’t apply to you?

I am not a judgmental, sanctimonious know it all who hates in the name of love.

How do you like to describe yourself regarding your beliefs?

I am looking for Jesus. I am currently of the mind that when he said “I am the way the truth and the light, no one comes to the father except through me” he made a universal statement rather than an exclusive one. The sands have not yet settled under my feet, so I am happy to have found a place where I can throw out my ideas and have people willing to talk about them with me without accusing me of being under the bondage of satan.

What (else) would you like to tell the people who call you a “fundy” if you thought they were listening?

If anyone who has been listening to what I’ve been saying still wants to call me a fundy all I can say is you aren’t listening well.

Labels people might use behind your back (and sometimes to your face): “lost”

Please answer the following questions if your beliefs differ in any significant way from this: “Every human being has a “sin’ problem separating him/her from God and the only way to resolve my own sin problem is to believe that Jesus is God and Jesus took care of it for me”.

(There are some of you who may find yourselves answering this and the above section because — ironically — you get labelled both ways, depending who is doing the labeling.)

Has anyone ever called you “lost”? Have you heard or read anything which tells you that some people talk about you like that behind your back?

Heck, I’m not just lost now, its even worse…I’m apostate in some minds.

How would you/do you feel about being called “lost”?

I am offended. I tend to view those who would call me lost as presumptuous gasbags now.

Do you feel “lost” in any way — is there anything you’re trying to find, or is anyone trying to find you, as best you can tell?

I’ve been found. That fact just isn’t recognized by the folks who would call me lost.

Are you aware of any assumptions people make about “the lost” which don’t apply to you?

They may think I don’t know Jesus or that I am being deceived. I believe I have just walked away from significant misapplication and misunderstanding of scripture.

What (else) would you like to tell the people who call you “lost” if you thought they were listening?

I am working out my salvation with fear and trembling. Asking questions and seeking answers — especially when they lead to uncertainty — is sobering. But I get moments of clarity when all the pieces for a part of the puzzle drop into place — a new place — and that is very satisfying. Because of my earlier experience with bad religion, I am careful that the new places are consistent with the Bible and my experience of Jesus thus far when they differ from my former doctrine. I am grateful for my fundy background even as I leave parts of it behind.

You and the Bible

Do you own a Bible? Do you ever read the Bible or look anything up in it? If so, what is your main reason for doing so?

I own several Bibles. I used to read daily but I haven’t for a while, I’ve used it mainly to look up parts that are pertinent to the conversations here. I’d like to find a good New Testament study group — one that allows questions regarding standard interpretation. My purpose was, and is, to get to know God and understand what he wants from me specifically and his creation in general.

As best you know, has anything in the Bible influenced you in a good way (directly or indirectly)?

Psalms taught me it was okay to be honest with God about the ugly feelings I have. Proverbs wisdom has been helpful. The Sermon on the Mount is both comforting and convicting. The words, as well as the birth, life, and death, of Jesus show God’s priorities, and I use those examples when I perform my own self-assessments.

As best you know, has anything in the Bible influenced you in a negative way (directly or indirectly)?

Revelation. End Times. Apocolypse. I looked at my former pastor, holding his hands up saying “Come, Maranatha, Come” several years ago and thought NOOOO!!!!! NOT YET!!!!! I’M NOT READY!!!!!

Has anyone expressed disapproval to you about your own personal opinion, or use, of the Bible? What would you like them to understand better about you and the Bible, were it possible?

I’ve had people twist scripture and throw it at me in an attempt to convict me of behavior I haven’t actually exhibited and attitudes I don’t hold. I’d tell them I take the Bible seriously, and will accept Biblical rebuke, but if that is where you are heading, you better know more about the Bible than the verses you cherry picked to support your condemnation. I may have just found a “sez you” attitude, but I am able to articulate why I say “sez you” in depth and with eloquence thanks to my years of “progressing along the continuum of my faith” combined with my recent adventures in thinking things out for myself.

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• Online Interview Form
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