Posted by Julie Marie on: 07.10.2006 /
This isn’t an essay about God, or politics, per se. But it quickly becomes relevant to faith, no faith, and politics.
Last week, in a conversation about the Apostle Paul, the following comment surfaced:
Either the Bible is the inspired Word of God, or its a pack of lies (because it claims to be the inspired Word of God).
My response was this:
I hear this from both As and Cs. I think it is a false dichotomy. It does not have to be 100% correct about everything or utterly lacking in value.
This either/or mentality seems especially pervasive in our culture today. It stops conversation and blocks progress.
I’ve been thinking more about the pervasiveness of either/or in our culture. Polarizing, alarmist rhetoric is causing Americans to eye one another warily. It strikes me, as I read the book God’s Politics, by Jim Wallis, that the rigidity in our thinking is a thick barrier to creative problem solving. Wallis states we need more than protest, we need solutions. I agree. There is enough anger and enough protesting; the din is deafening, disheartening, and deadening. The culture wars have us ripping at each other’s hearts. The religious right is alarmed about the influence of the coarsening culture. The secular left is alarmed about the militancy of the religious right. The religious left and the secular right, so to speak, are invisible. I believe the “religious right” has damaged the cultural fabric and cohesion of this country as much as the “coarsened culture” has, albeit in a different way. And the apparent touchiness of the liberal left has resulted in a strangulated dialogue: afraid to offend, afraid of being politically incorrect, moderates remain silent. So the only ones talking are the extremists of both camps. And all their talk does is reinforce our negative opinions of each other. This is damaging in a deep, elemental way, because it has caused us to lose trust and to view the “other” as our enemy.
What I would like to do is figure out a way to help reasonable Americans — and there are many of us — think rationally about the rhetoric that hits our mailboxes and our airwaves. This rhetoric will only increase as the primary season begins. We are vulnerable to rhetoric when we fail to acknowledge our blind spots, and this blindness is, in my opinion, hidden behind absolutism. What sorts of questions should be posed to help balance ourselves?
Once we have owned our individual blind spots, we can look at the issues confronting our country, decide which ones most need attention based on our values, and begin to generate some potential solutions. CatE and its predecessor, the eBay Atheist highlighted blindness for me and for many of the regular posters. Jim and Hemant modeled non defensive, non agenda driven listening for us. Through the months of conversation here, I see that the core values I as a Christian hold dear are not essentially different from the core values the Atheists posting here hold dear. We believe the reasons why we hold those values are different, but the core values…I see more similarities than differences. Whoda thunk it.
This gives me hope. Hope that we can take this understanding and spread it through our circles of influence. What are the questions we can start asking to help our friends step out of the culture wars and see each other as Americans again? Once we acheive that, then the promise of America – our freedom of both thought and action, will be loosed, and we will discover there are solutions that transcend “my way” or “your way”.
Comment by: Marty
1I am keenly aware that I have had prejudice relative to both Atheists and Gays. The commonality is that I didn’t knowingly know any Aheists or Gay people. I had allowed what I heard/read to govern my thinking. Later I learned that I did know people of each group – and I respected and liked each of them.
My Mom’s church left the American Baptist Convention because the Convention would not opennly condemn homosexuality. By that time I had a number of pretty close friends who are gay and I was crushed to hear what Mom’s church was doing in the name of God, Jesus and the Bible. I aked both Mom and Dad (he was alive then) if they had ever gotten to know any gay people – and the answer was no – and they were not interested in meeting any. My otherwise very loving and “Christian” parents were not even willing to meet someone who is gay.
Three years ago, when my wife and I were married as Quakers, we had two homosexual people play key roles in our wedding – serving on our “Clearness Committee”. Mom fell in love with both of them – but it still didn’t imact her belief that what they were doing was wrong and that Christ could save them from all that if they would confess their sins and ask for help.
A week ago I asked my Mom about which verses she felt condemned homosexuality and how clear they were? She assured me that, although she didn’t know them very well personally – she knew they were there. I then asked her about the verses relative to divorce, remarrying and the Bibles view that that was adultry and that was one of the Ten Commandments. I asked her how much her church preaches against something that was so absolutely clear from the Bible versus what is vague and unclear from the Bible. I pointed out that one of her sons is remarried and the other (my brother) was married two times and has been living is sin for 18 years. Why doesn’t her church speak out against that (and against half of their members?).
Julie Marie – in answer to your question – for me the key question is “How many Atheists or how mang Gays have you gotten to know and how do you feel about them now that you have gotten to know them?”
I actually did a set-up by inviting one of my Atheists friends (someone I have known and appreciated for awhile – but only recently found out he was an Atheist) over for Easter dinner with a number of other single friends who did not have a place to go Easter. My mother liked him very much – and it wasn’t until he left and got Mom’s positive reaction that I told him that he is an Atheist.
The key to overcoming prejudice is people getting to know each other. We’ve watched that happen here – starting with me.
Comment by: Mary Lou
2Julie Marie:
When I catch myself self-righteously “on the other side,” I stop to take a larger view of my world. It sheds light on definitive answers which I might have for all people all of the time. My thoughts go something like this:
Our galaxy, called the Milky Way, is a grouping of 100 billion stars, bound together by gravity. All of the stars that can be seen in the sky (with a very few exceptions) belong to my galaxy. I know that at least 88 of the suns in the Milky Way have their own planetary system. The shape of the Milky Way spirals, somewhat like the letter “S”, so the bright band of stars that I can see on a summer night is still only one arm of the Milky Way.
There are hundreds of billions of other galaxies in the universe, ranging in diameter from 1,500 to 300,000 light-years. Typical other galaxies contain 10 million to one trillion stars, all orbiting a common center of gravity; and the entire universe of all galaxies is constanly moving outward into what is called nothingness.
So here am I, with a small band of people, on little planet earth, where the “hairs of my head are numbered,” feeling that the other side is wrong. How presumptuous can I be? Mary Lou
Comment by: Julie Marie
3Marty said:
That is a helpful way to address racism/bigotry when it rears its head, Marty. My area of difficulty now is Islam. It would be helpful for me to seek out some interfaith interaction, I think! Since you live in CA, I guess I’ll have to do some footwork on my own.
I have used a derivative of this question with my friends when atheism comes up – as it often does for me now…I share what I have learned from the atheists posting here. It has helped with the knee jerk defensiveness. But it does take patience!
Comment by: Julie Marie
4Mary Lou said:
I wish I could figure out how to direct mail that attitude all over the country Mary Lou! I’m so glad to call you my own! (Mary Lou is my wise auntie)
Comment by: Julie Marie
5a modern day “Guess Who’s coming to Dinner?”, eh Marty? That took some guts. Was your mom suprised when you told her about your friend?
Comment by: jim
6Julie Marie
You put it so clearly and courageously. The (extreme) relig right are the modern day offspring of the same Pahrisees Jesus spoke so directly to. He found their version of “religious coarseness” far more alarming than the “cutural coarseness” prevalent in his own time.
Having observed that we Cs are ineffective as moral policemen and certainly not trusted by outsiders – I can only conclude that we have taken on a job God never intended for us to have.
How much more interesting (and entertaining) it would be if we became the people who were known for “not being polarized” – Now that would shock people and maybe intrigue them enough to drop by this blog and observe what non reactive listening can do to help make the world a better place.
Thanks for your wise insights
Comment by: Eliza
7Julie Marie,
Hear, hear! These are valuable insights, and questions. I applaud those who are moving ahead in the ways they see, but wonder else to proceed. As you said,
One part of the problem seems to be that people tend to see themselves as moderate and everyone else with a different position as extremist. It seems that it’s harder to see yourself on one of 2 sides of a polarized issue, easier to see yourself in the “correct” spot.
Certainly meeting people who you can demonize in absentia, & finding out that you have more in common than you’d ever thought, seems like a key step. But those involved also have to be open to the possibility of there being common ground – if you go in with preconceived notions, they’ll likely only have them fulfilled. Look at the extent Marty had to go to in order to make a bit of a dent in his mother’s armor, so to speak!
It seems like several people are pointing out, in different ways, that it’s important to bring up some context in which we share common ground (sharing interesting dinner conversation, realizing we share a small planet in a big galaxy, talking about how to MTWABP, etc) & can approach in an intrigued, “show me” not “so what” mentality (like in Jim’s example). Now, just how to get there! This type of stuff – peacemaking, goal alignment, getting to know another type of person – doesn’t make the news, or the mailings, like the polarized messages do.
Comment by: Julie Marie
8that is a nice vision for this blog, Jim. To have a place where controverisal and sometimes difficult topics can be discussed, but without the exhausting and unproductive rhetoric that scares people into silence. In this complicated world, that would be a rare and precious gift.
Comment by: Julie Marie
9that is so true. I was there — I didn’t realize I was so far to the right there was only about 1 foot more space left. A swift kick cured me of that, but I’m not sure that is really a universally effective method of effecting change. what kinds of questions do I ask my friends, when they get worked up over the rhetoric and start internalize it as part of their reality? Is it something even appropriate for me to address? Can I do it in a way that is not alienating? The only thing I can think of now is the technique my mom taught me (her timid daughter, again) of decatastrophizing. For example:
So what is the worst thing that could happen if a gay couple got married? What? I’ve condoned their ‘sin’? Buuutttt…its not my job to assess sin in others is it?
no they don’t. melodrama is infinitely more ‘catchy’. In reading God’s Politics, I was suprised to hear there was a 6 point plan floated out there and debated amongst the world powers that be, a plan of peace that did not roll over and give terrorists the keys to our kingdom. I hadn’t even heard of it! As far as I knew, the only plan to keep us safe was attack. Peaceable alternatives got no press.
Comment by: NCxian
10This conversation reminds me of something I read recently (surprise! surprise!). C. S. Lewis talking about trying to walk the line between thinking that everybody else ought to be just like you, and not caring anything at all about somebody else because his troubles are none of your business. He uses a Christian metaphor to make his point, but I think we can understand it more broadly.
Comment by: Julie Marie
11I like that CS Lewis quote, NC. It does seem to be all about managing the tension, doesn’t it?
Comment by: Eliza
12I like it, too (though I do a bit of a secular translation on it ;) ) – reminds people to seek moderation in all things, even those which seem “good” or “pure” – brings to mind for me the Pharisees, as Jim mentioned in #6 above…
Comment by: stephanie
13Hi there..I am new to blogging..my first here…but I am a long time friend of Julie Marie and wanted to share some of her journey through her philosophical education and growth….I also led a life on the very “right”…went on missions to save the souls (of children as I was only 13 myself..my intellect couldn’t understnd what these lovely children needed to be saved from other than poverty..) but at 35 I began a very rewarding education of people and their struggle with the human condition. The best quote I recall is that “love is loving others for who they are and who they are not”
I’ll write more later…for now I just wanted Julie to know I am thinking of her and commend her courage to open herself to a communication fostering learning and acceptance.
Steff
Comment by: Julie Marie
14thanks Steff :) I’m glad you visited, and look forward to more of your wisdom!