Posted by Helen on: 08.14.2006 /
David S asked this interesting question on the discussion board recently.
Bob posted this in another thread:
Personally, I would love it if at least every couple of years I ran into something that I had never even conceived before. A conditon, a belief, a place, a people, whatever. Just something to “upset my apple cart” and open my eyes to yet another facet of creation.
Each time I’ve encountered this so far, I am aware of how small my world was before and how it was enriched by the experience.
So what are some things that changed your life… or altered your perspective significantly so you became a slightly different person?
I’ll toss out some easy ones:
Comment by: Eliza
1 08/14/06 7:06 AM | Comment Link |Getting involved in an Atheist-Christian dialogue on-line ;)
Comment by: Doreen
2 08/14/06 7:39 AM | Comment Link |- My brother surviving spinal meningitis when he was 6 months old. (I was 13 at the time.)
- Getting clean & sober, and coming out of the closet at age 27.
- My mom surviving breast cancer, twice.
- Going with my mom, dad, and sister to find where my mother’s mother was buried. It was a pauper’s grave they paved over. It was so sad.
- Receiving a call to ministry.
- Seeing Brian McLaren on Larry King and attending the church he founded.
- Speaking at an Off-the-map event last Nov. and meeting Jim.
- Praying the prayer of salvation and taking communion for the first time at a 10,000 member AME church w/2 friends from school this past April.
Comment by: Julie Marie
3 08/14/06 8:29 AM | Comment Link |yup
-
Doreen, I am so saddened by this.
Over the past decade, the dawning realization that my understanding of my “life story” was in large part manipulated by someone with an unconcious (I choose to believe) agenda has caused me to re-examine everything I have believed to be true about myself and my loved ones and our joint history. While this has made for an extremely difficult 2 years, I am very happy to be living with an honest story now. Or at least a story that is tainted only with my filters, not anyone elses ;)
Comment by: M
4 08/14/06 10:12 AM | Comment Link |Being with someone as they were dying, and with them as they died, and with them after they died.
Discovering (reading, hearing, thinking about, talking about, experiencing) Girardian thought and mimetic theory
Comment by: Helen
5 08/14/06 10:42 AM | Comment Link |Thanks for sharing, M. Wow, being with someone as they die and after - I can understand why that would be life changing.
Girardian thought and mimetic theory…now I have some new things to look up ;). I looked a little and have got as far as, Girard doesn’t think Jesus’ death was an atoning sacrifice. Yep, that’s major!
Comment by: Helen
6 08/14/06 10:52 AM | Comment Link |Big things for me:
changing from a private girls high school to a public co-ed high school [UK name: a comprehensive] at age 17 - that was a major culture shock;
a year abroad (in the US, with relatives) in 1981-82;
going to college far enough away from home to live there 1983
falling in love in 1983 (we’ve been married 19 yrs now);
praying the prayer of salvation and what followed in 1984;
moving from the UK to the US in 1986;
becoming a parent in 1993 and transitioning from full-time work to full-time Mom (still am)
serious mental illness episodes in 1996 & 2000
dramatic change in beliefs in 2001
joining an atheist online discussion board in 2001
accidentally discovering Off The Map in 2006 (because of following a link about the ‘eBay atheist’
There are probably more. So many moments turn out to be life-changing, looking back.
Comment by: Julie Marie
7 08/14/06 11:02 AM | Comment Link |I googled this and came to a site named the progressive baptist. very intersting. so maybe spong isn’t the only one out there with alternative views of the cross and resurrection….
like I really need more reading ;-)
Comment by: Mike O
8 08/14/06 1:39 PM | Comment Link |I am very optomistic by nature, so my list of “life changing moments” all tend to be negative. I expect the positive, so the negatives are the ones that take me my surprise.
- When I got laid off the first time and got right down to the financial edge and made it.
- When I got sick with some kind of virus or bacteria — I was hospitalized for a week with intestinal paralysis.
- When God healed me of said intestinal paralysis. No, I can’t prove it … it’s possible that it just went away, but there are other circumstances.
- When my wife got fired from her first pastorate.
- When my own ministry failed. I was so sure …
- When my sister’s baby died days before she delivered her stillborn.
You’ve heard the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” Well, these didn’t kill me and now that they’re history, I can see God’s hand bringing me through all of them. I’ve learned that you never know what to expect, and just because things suck doesn’t mean God isn’t there and maybe even part of it.
Comment by: Paul
9 08/17/06 12:33 AM | Comment Link |Life changing moments heh - good and bad…
1. getting caught shoplifting as an 8 yr old - i was really addicted to it for no reason other than the thrill and getting stuff. My parents prayed with me about it and after that i didn’t shop lift again although i was might tempted - was really my first spirtual encounter - and my first police caution
2. my dog getting run over whilst i was taking her out for a walk - major trauma
3. praying saying I wanted to follow Jesus and feeling an incredible feeling that i wondered why everyone didn’t do this. Went and told my dad who told me to go back to bed - high to low in 60 seconds.
4. being bullied at school and having conflicting feelings of whether to punch their lights out or find some more loving way - prayed a lot and went for punching
5. being chronically homesick everytime i went away as a child right up to going to uni - strange thing was by the time i went to uni i was desperate to leave
6. my dad telling me that my mum thought it was time he told me the facts of life when i was 13 and the mutual relief on both our faces when i told him we’d covered it in school when i was 11.
7. fighting for my rights growing up, battling for every bit of freedom and in the end using my own strength to threaten my parents with physical violence if my mum didn’t stop hitting me. She wasn’t abusive per se just thought i was a kid still and couldn’t cope with me growing up.
8. downside of point 7 was that i was terribly angry and frustrated - an anger that lasted for a very long time. on the upside I got used to dealing with manipulation and emotional blackmail and found ways to cope with my parents without doing a lizzy bordun or spending a life in therapy.
9. discovering porn as a teenager and grdually becoming addicted to it.
10. going to a church that was awesomely good at teaching the bible and awesomely poor at living it - so learning that it was all pretty much an intellectual exercise with a bit of image management thrown in. Was a great pharasee
11. reading the books of a guy called Adrian Plass and learning to start laughing at christians and by implication laughing at me - a very good thing as it was the start of not taking myself seriously.
12. hearing my mum tell me all the time as a kid that i would always land on my feet and believing her - made me the laid back worry free person i am today.
13. Meeting my wife - she a shy 14 yr old and me all of 17yrs old. The moment the scales feel from my eyes when i watched her play the piano and thought this is not just a friend i really love her… getting engaged when we were 16 and 19 respectively, breaking up 2 yrs later and then choosing to get back together again and getting married at 19 and 21.
14. Going to uni and meeting so many different types of christian and going to different types of church - so many different expressions/styles etc but they all loved this person i did. I led hall CU with a guy from a very odd church background - a lot of my friends wanted him to go to a normal church i just wanted to listen to him and invite myself to his church, later he invited himself to mine.
15. dynamic encounter with recently discovered third member of the trinity - the holy spirit (aka the holy ghost) - incredibly suspicious of the whole signs and wonders thang and people manifesting, crying laughing etc and determined not to be manipulated in any way (see point 7) but in the end praying about and asking Jesus if this was true i wanted it too but if not let it pass me on by - spontaniously spoke in tongues and thought i was loosing my mind, talked about it with my spirtual guru financee and she had no idea either - ended up in a shopping centre unable to walk, slowly sliding down a seat whilst mothers kept their children away from the “drunk man” - was fully aware yet really peaceful - was potentially very embarrassing out in public and not where i would choose to have an encounter with the divine - my take on the subject was that God in his lovin way was answering my prayer in a place/way where there was no manipulation and such potential embarrassment that it had to be him rather than me - forever greatful for that.
16. put theoretical christanity on the back burner and went on an emotional/experiential bender for a few yrs - great to feel the buzz from god, to get all excited to learn about loving God with my heart - after awhile though it did get a bit all living for the next conference high.
17. turbulent highs/lows yrs of early marriage - being a right selfish bastard in many ways and sowing a lot of damage - projected a jokey blokey image to everyone one else but my wife was puzzled where the reflective, senstive sometimes angry person that she knew and got to see disappeared to in public.
18. struggled with my sexuality - wanted to be in control/incharge discovered BDSM on the internet and for awhile seriously thought that was what defined me as a dominant male - the only problem i had was that it contrasted with what i felt the bible said about love/sex so it was a battle for my heart and mind - i loved the whole honesty of the bdsm community, the desire to be know and to know and really felt that i could never be that open and honest about my sexual desires for fear of being labelled a pervert, deviant etc. Was a solo struggle and again i did a lot of damage to my wife by projecting a long the way - poor her i think she thought she had married someone very unhonest but i didn’t really know about that then.
19. getting caught on my porn addiction and goin and praying with a couple - first time being honest and confronting the hurt that my actions caused in another.
20. living the career dream, working long hours, selling my soul to the company - whilst projecting a nominal faith for everyone else to see. Having a mini break down when my new boss decided that what ever i did would not be good enough - remember crying in the toilets and kept repeating the phrase “but I tried so hard…” Broken man with wafer thin faith, swamped by sexual struggles, a marriage well on the way to break up and now a failure at work too - at that point of hitting bottom again i decides somehow to give the faith thang one more go, started reading the bible and praying again in lil bits (all i could manage without feeling too hyprocritical) but with a real honesty - remember thinking why had no one told me the bible was so relevant to both comforting me and challenging me.
21. Going on a misson trip to africa - when i had signed on for it i thought i was god’s gift to mission when i actually got round to going on it i was pretty sure i was no gift to anything. Sat next to a senior pastor on a long african bus ride and heard him talking about his life and some of his struggles - was blown away here was someone snr admititng their weaknesses in conversation and more to the point he was a funny guy like me who i really connected with - his honesty gave me the courage to be honest. On that trip i asked for prayer and had the most amazing awesome session of release and healing - lust, anger, pride, control, vows i had taken to never be passive like my father, as i admitted all this and people loved me and prayed with me rather than judged me I could feel myself changing, some the tightness in my chest went away. Coming back from the trip i decided that 16 yrs of being a christian where i hid everything away didn’t work from that point on i was going to be honest and accountable. I also found that i still got angry but the white heat and violence had gone, i still was lustful but it didn’t seem to drive me in the same way, i still had moments of pride but i was getting a lot better at admitting weakness etc
22. being honest is no easy thing i found and i am often tempted to not be honest, why bother. on the other hand sharing my life has helped me conenct with so many people in ways that help them, to see them feeling courage to be honest too and talkin about where our hearts really are. Its made me face myself, to deconstruct and hopefully reconstruct something that is more humble, loving, Jesus like than what was there before.
23. discovering that being honest effects my mind and my emotions - that should be living a life of thought, deed, word, action - that they are not seperate components but a vital part of faith in practice.
24. rebuilding my marriage - discovering that love is about giving not getting and trying to live that out a little. Doing the marriage course 3 times and learning how to be a better husband with some practical actions to do each time - letting that be my focus rather than how can i make my wife better - i tried for 6 yrs it didn’t work so have given up. When i’m perfect then i’ll start on her (well most of the time, i still have those days when i am soooooo right and just have to tell her :). I’m also realising that a lof of my problem is in learning to put my rights down
24. having 2 boys - one of the things coming back from africa as well was that my fear of having children was gone - before i was so scared that i’d turn out like my dad. We also thought that we wouldn’t hve kids easily - having known friends who have faced the pain of not being able to conceie i think we were prepared for that. having my boys has thrown up a lot of stuff about how selfish i still am, about learning to say i love you and i’m sorry and i’m wrong, about team parenting, about the value of my beautiful wife and how she is courageous as a mother doin something that really isn’t her natural gifting.
24. starting to blog about life/thoughts - being creative, thinking, trying to listen from others, learn from others, be generous and gracious. hearing myself and sometimes experiencing moments when God walks through the room i’m in.
Comment by: Mike O
10 08/17/06 2:34 AM | Comment Link |That was gripping!!! Thank you, Paul.