Posted by Rachel on: 08.22.2006 /
In Thoreau’s “Walden,” he said, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
In your own experience, have you found “wisdom in the woods”? What “essential facts” have you learned about life by observing and interacting with nature? Have you discovered truth and beauty through the natural world? For those who believe in God, do you feel that God has taught you lessons about life through his creation?
Comment by: Rachel
1 08/22/06 8:15 AM | Comment Link |I learned a beautiful lesson from nature a few years ago from a scene that unfolded outside my living room window during a very difficult time in my life…
In May 2003, my beloved Dad died suddenly of a brain aneurism. He was 56 and very healthy - a runner, cyclist and mountain climber. He just dropped dead one day and the coroner had his body for three days before they even found the cause of death. Dad was single and I’m the eldest child so the responsibility fell to me to take care of things. The shock and grief I felt were overwhelming and I had no clue what to do. The coroner said to me, “When we are ready to release his body, you will need to tell us where to send it.” That was when I realized, “Oh my God, I’m in charge here.” There was some family crap which exacerbated things and made it all more stressful and painful. I missed Dad desperately and felt helpless. But I’ve learned that you can do what you have to do.
My Gramps (dad’s dad) was devastated at the loss of his youngest child. Gramps and I have always had a special bond and we grew even closer in the months after Dad’s death and clung to each other for support. My Grammy was declining mentally so I was Gramps’ confidante. Soon after Dad’s death, Gramps’ health began to decline and he was diagnosed with ALS. In January 2004, he went into the hospital and was placed on a respirator. In February 2004, he chose to go off the respirator and died in his hospital room with about 20 of us family members standing around his bed, singing to him. I have always been a Daddy’s girl and a Grandpa’s girl and this was a double blow and I was (and still am) heartbroken. And again, there was lots of stressful, practical stuff I needed to help take care of.
Meanwhile…I have three flower boxes outside my living room bay window. The two smaller flower boxes on the side are under the eaves of the house and the large center box is open to the sky. In the early fall of 2003, I planted pansies in the flower boxes. I chose pansies because past experience had taught me that they could survive our Western Oregon mild winters and would bloom again in the spring.
But it was not a typical winter. In addition to the usual rain, we had lots of hail and actually had snow! - several days of heavy snowfall (a big deal for us in the Willamette Valley). The pansies in the side boxes did OK since they were protected by the eaves. But the center box pansies took a pounding. They were battered by the rain and hail and for several days, buried in snow and ice. As I struggled to deal with my first holiday season without Dad and with Gramps’ worsening health and then death, the center box pansies struggled to survive. I assumed that the side box pansies would make it till spring but the center box pansies would have to be replaced.
Then spring came and the pansies started to grow again. The side box pansies did fine but the center box pansies went wild! The stems grew strong and unusually tall and they had tons of blossoms - three times as many as the side box pansies! - and overflowed the flower box. People out jogging or walking their dogs would stop and comment on my amazing pansies. The flowers that had been protected by the eaves grew just fine. But the flowers that had been battered by the rain and hail and snow and seemed like they would barely survive the winter, grew and blossomed and thrived and were strong and beautiful when the spring came.
Comment by: Marty
2 08/22/06 8:27 AM | Comment Link |Rachel - Thanx for sharing this beautiful and poignant story. Lots for all of us to think about in your observations. Are you feeling like the pansies in the center box? How are you doing/feeling 2 - 3 years after loosing your dad and gramps?
Comment by: Julie Marie
3 08/22/06 11:26 AM | Comment Link |Thanks for sharing that Rachel. I feel like a battered pansy right now and it gives me hope that spring will come and I’ll be fine…I just have to make it through the winter.
Comment by: Karen
4 08/22/06 3:33 PM | Comment Link |So very sorry to hear that, Julie. I sure hope things get better soon for you.
How’s dad doing?
Comment by: Rachel
5 08/22/06 7:20 PM | Comment Link |Thanks for your kind questions, Marty. Yes - I do feel stronger as a result of my experiences, but also more tenderhearted towards other people. The grief has lessened greatly over time, though there are still occasions where I think of Dad or Gramps and get that familiar pain in my chest and miss them profoundly.
Comment by: Rachel
6 08/22/06 7:21 PM | Comment Link |I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult season, Julie. (hug)
Comment by: Julie Marie
7 08/24/06 6:30 AM | Comment Link |This is definitely common ground to all humanity. I’ve found that, while I can’t say I’ll ever “get over” the loss of my mother, I’ve learned to live with it and find happiness anyways. But sometimes the impact of the loss still finds its mark…like when I couldn’t show her her grandson, or the fact that she can’t meet my husband…they would hit it off; they both are happiest when they are going 90 mph with their hair on fire.
Comment by: Rachel
8 08/24/06 7:51 AM | Comment Link |In an excellent book I read on grief, the author talked about how we don’t ever get over the loss of loved ones, but we absorb it into our lives, in the way that soil absorbs decaying material.
Comment by: Julie Marie
9 08/24/06 8:02 AM | Comment Link |more nature, eh? My aunt had a grief metaphor that involved nature too, and I’ve used it from time to time…thinking of our sorrows as weeds in a garden - as we work our way through them, its like pulling weeks and throwing them in a compost pile…they can later be used to fertilize new growth.
Comment by: donna
10 06/17/07 5:46 PM | Comment Link |PANSEYS FLOWERS WILL FOREVER STAY IN MY HEART AND MENMORYS, THEY WERE IN BLOOM WHEN MY DAD PAST AWAY 2 YEARS AGO THE LAST DAY OF DECEMBER WITH SNOW ON THE GROUND. PANSEYS IS WHAT I HAVE PLANTED IN MY BOXS EVER SUMMMER SINCE.THEY REMIND ME OF THE GRACE MY DAD IS NOW UNDER AND IS A LIVE AND WELL IN HEAVEN.
Comment by: Helen
11 06/17/07 5:58 PM | Comment Link |Thanks for your comment, Donna. Planting pansies is a lovely way to remember your Dad.