Posted by Helen on: 11.20.2006 /
This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the US - a national holiday. I think I’ve heard that more Americans travel (to be with friends and/or family) on Thanksgiving Day than any other time of the year.
If you live in the US:
If you don’t live in the US but have done so in the past:
And, no matter where you live and have lived:
Comment by: Marty SB
1My wife and I are going to have a wonderfully diverse 18 people over for Thanksgiving. They will religiously range from my 94 year old Born Again Christina mother - to two Atheist friends who were friends before - but I became aware of their being Athiests through sharing with them about this blog that I am involved with and my desire to bring about a local, actual (rather than virtual) dialogue here in Santa Barbara. We are inviting two Hispanic teens who are in a Toastmasters Youth Leadership program we teach at the local high school. We will be asking one of them to repeat his very powerful speech on Global Warming. Most of the people are single and would not otherwise have had a place to go on Thanksgiving. One is homeless. One of the Atheists is 80 years old and brings his karoke entertainment into three different nursing homes each week. He recently won a fourth level Toastmasters Humorous Speech contest on Rage and will be sharing that with us on Thanksgiving. One is an African man who works for Lifewater.org who drill wells and install sanitation services primarily in Africa. He will be sharing about his program.
For Grace at these types of things in our house - we all hold hands and I indivually acknowlege each person by name (will I remember 18 names ?:-)) and then have a Quaker blessing - which is shared silence.
We have learned the tremendous richness of going beyond inviting just our own family and friends and social status to including a widely diverse group of people.
Comment by: Jim
2We go out for coffee, a walk , dinner and a movie with whichever of our children happen to be available any given year
Comment by: Helen
3My Mom (who is American and lives in the US) is coming to visit us, arriving tomorrow.
I talked with a woman from Australia this morning - I asked what she thinks about Thanksgiving. I wasn’t surprised to hear her say she likes to go away for Thanksgiving because it’s a US cultural thing she doesn’t really relate to.
Like me she is married with children who are growing up here and will have Thanksgiving as part of their lives from the beginning.
I grew up in England and so did my husband. There is no Thanksgiving holiday. Now we live in the US we enjoy the family time together that this holiday gives us - I guess it doesn’t bother me that I didn’t grow up with it.
Other US things I didn’t grow up with feel awkward and uncomfortable to me - like finding myself expected to say the Pledge of Allegiance at all sorts of public events - so I think I can understand how the Australian person I spoke to feels.
Comment by: benjamin ady
4Helen,
I’m so sorry about the pledge of allegiance thing. I don’t say it either, anymore. I think it’s a bit wierd, too, the way they make all the kids say it in so many contexts. *totally* wierd, and kinda creepy.
I hate thanksgiving. It’s like the one time of year when you know you are going to end up, somehow, interacting with your FOO, and definitely it’s gonna be toxic. Plus it’s the entry to the “holiday season”, which I detest. (well, actually, it seems that the “holiday season” has extended itself backwards to about November 1 now, but thanksgiving is still the “official” beginning.)
Comment by: Helen
5Benjamin, thanks for understanding about the pledge.
Yeah, my husband was just saying how much he hates ‘the holiday season’. It still starts later here than in the UK, at least. Could be worse.
Best wishes with your FOO - nice acronym; I hadn’t heard that one before!
Comment by: Eliza
6I thought we were going to be in Spokane at my in-laws, with my husband’s nearly-99-yr-old grandmother, his parents, his sister and one of our nieces, plus ~4 grad students and faculty from the university here who are friends of ours & who don’t have family nearby. Then, I thought, we were heading up to Priest Lake ID (with the ~4 friends) for the rest of the weekend. I like a big, eclectic group for Thanksgiving - it feels nice, like an adopted family. (I like Thanksgiving better than Christmas!)
I found out tonight that I was a little bit off on the details - turns out we are going to stop briefly to say “Hi” in Spokane, then continue north to Priest Lake, & will be having Thanksgiving in the family cabin there - my nuclear family of 3 and the ~4 friends. (Which means I’m responsible for organizing dinner - using a little kitchen in a cabin that doesn’t always have power this time of year!)
My husband and I have these communication breakdowns at times - he thinks I know what he’s thinking, I guess. All I can say is, it’s better to find out Monday night in Seattle that you have to plan Thanksgiving dinner, than it is to find out on Wednesday night on the way out of Spokane!
Comment by: meg
7all the best with thanksgiving dinner in the little cabin kitchen eliza! here’s hopin’ you DO have electricity!
helen, i loved your commments, as i really related to them, being an aussie who’s married into a family (apart from bens, thankfully!) which is EXTREEEEMELY patriotic.
I don’t really get it, because they don’t seem to realise that their country, holidays, customs, ways, are just one amidst a worldfull. So in honesty I’m dreading thanksgiving at the in-laws!!
as for the pledge of allegiance … i don’t have any allegiance to the usa, so i couldn’t say it in honesty - that’s the reason i don’t become a citizen, too - you’re expected to publically break all ties with your own country…
but i do love most americans i know well!!!! especially one in particular!
Comment by: Helen
8Meg, yes, I wondered if you might feel like the person I spoke with yesterday. I think it’s good to be aware that people who grew up in another culture might feel somewhat out of place and alienated at times like Thanksgiving.
Eliza - ouch! It sounds like you’re in for more of a challenging Thanksgiving than you anticipated. As you said, at least you found out now rather than in a couple of days. I hope the discovery of this misunderstanding didn’t cause too much conflict between you and your husband!
By the way: Todd just added a ‘poll’ feature to some of our blogs - check out the Thanksgiving poll on the sidebar of the home page.
Comment by: bianca
9roflmao! FOO! That is fabulous! I will totally have to use that from now on when with clients… Sometimes its hard to laugh when I think of my FOO and the troubles we’ve had within my FOO… Communication with my FOO frequently breaks down when we differ in opinions, but I do love my FOO and so I seek peace if not reconciliation.
We’ve actually begun having Thanksgiving at our home rather than with our respective FOOs so that our kids have fond FOO memories of their own surrounding the holidays. But we invite our FOOs to join us whenever they can (they’re east coast and we’re west coast). This year we have a pantheist family with whom we homeschool joining us for the day as well as several of our adopted ohana (Lilo and Stitch reference)… I like the idea of a silent blessing to begin the meal. I was wondering what we could do to make our friends more comfortable…
In honor of fabulous FOOs everywhere, have a happy Thanksgiving! ;)
Comment by: Helen
10You too, Bianca!
Comment by: Deana
11I live in the same city as my parents. I will be having Thanksgiving dinner with them and my boyfriend and one of my parents’ friends. We’ll eat turkey, my mother’s fabulous wild rice stuffing and my boyfriend’s fabulous stuffed mushrooms. Then we’ll watch football and probably end the day early since I have to work on Friday and my dad wants to get up in the wee hours so he can stand in line and get a cheap laptop at Mall-Wart.
Comment by: Helen
12Thanks Deana - it sounds like you’re going to have a fun day on Thanksgiving!
Comment by: Rachel
13I decided a couple of years ago not to say the pledge anymore. For me personally, it just doesn’t seem compatible with being a follower of Jesus. As Brian McLaren said, the most basic Christian confession is “Jesus is Lord” and that means Caesar is not.
Comment by: DonnaV
14Helen…I don’t say the pledge either…used to really tick my dad off when I was a kid…
we used to do the big family dinner when we lived close to family, now we are experimenting…last year we went camping, this year we are staying home and having a friend and her daughter over for lunch…football…I’ll be watching lots of football!!
Comment by: trissa
15My first post on this site (which I very much enjoy reading).
I am traveling from portland to seattle for a nice dinner with my parents. My fiance, however, is staying here to have Thanksgiving with his family. It’s a little sad that we will be apart, but there will be future Thanksgivings. He needs to be with his family, as it will be that last with his aunt and uncle (they are moving). I am choosing to spend the time with my mom, because this is her first Thanksgiving without her mom, who died this summer.
Thanksgiving is such a great holiday and I hope you all have a great day!
Comment by: meg
16welcome Trissa!
Comment by: Helen
17Hi Trissa - happy Thanksgiving!
Comment by: Helen
18Donna, thanks. I like experiments - I hope your Thanksgiving one works out well for you and your family.
Comment by: Rachel
19I hear you on that one, Ben! My own Thanksgiving celebration with my FOO was a mixed bag. The highlight was getting to spend time with my four wonderful nieces. My younger brothers have two girls apiece - 7 & 3 and 4 & 9 months. I got lots of hugs, kisses, cuddles and “I love you, Auntie Rachel”s. I had a blast doing silly preschool songs with the 3 & 4 year olds.
The low point was definitely when one of my brothers remarked that he did not think that womens’ suffrage was a good thing. Oh, yes, you heard correctly - he does not think women should have gotten the right to vote! This is the brother that I said would probably agree with Mark Driscoll on most things (although I’m sure he would think that Driscoll was too liberal on at least a few points). I stood up and said, “I’m not willing to even discuss this” and I left the room.
When I came back into the room later, my brother said, “You didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. We need to discuss this.” I said, “If you think that I should not have the right to vote in a representative democracy of which I am a part, solely on the basis of my gender, then you clearly do not regard me as an equal, therefore we have no basis for a dialogue.” He actually seemed stunned by this as if he was shocked that I had been offended and proceeded to tell me that he does think I should have the right to vote, since I am not uninformed and overly emotional like most women. Oh thank you, thank you, I bow in gratitude for that magnanimous statement!
I debated with him for a little bit and actually managed to stay calm but then I said that I was going to head to bed. Then he offered to give me a back massage (I guess this was his peace offering since he wasn’t willing to fully retract his statement). After I got my back massage, I went upstairs to bed and tried to sleep while my brothers argued loudly downstairs till 1:30am.
Comment by: Rachel
20And yes, I do notice after typing this that I did get sucked in to discussing it after I said I wouldn’t. Sigh.
Comment by: Helen
21Rachel, wow, I am glad my brothers don’t seem to have attitudes like that towards women!
I can understand your mixed feelings about “Well, it’s ok for YOU to vote since you’re not like most other women”.
I’m surprised your brother hasn’t come across any uninformed and overly emotional men (assuming being egotistical and hot-headed count as overly emotional). Where has he been? ;-)