The power of a positive no

Posted by Helen on: 03.13.2007 /

This week’s TIME Magazine includes a review of the book The Power of a Positive No by William Ury. Here’s an excerpt from the review:

Although we may intuitively understand how to effectively say no, we often don’t because of other concerns swirling in our head. Yet today, Ury argues, in a world with more information, more options and more demands for productivity than ever before, the stakes are incredibly high. “To say yes to the right things”–and not be overwhelmed, overworked and generally stressed out–”you have to say no to a lot of other things,” Ury says. The payoff, he notes, can be twofold, since delivering a respectful, decisive no can paradoxically strengthen your relationship with the person on the receiving end.

read the whole review

It must have been a good review - my husband bought the book the day after he read it!

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3 Responses to "The power of a positive no"

  • Comment by: jim henderson

    1 03/13/07 5:23 PM | Comment Link |

    I love this topic. Peter Drucker said ” Know what your special mission is so you know what to say no to”

    Following his advice is HARD work. It really is. No normal person enjoys saying no especially to good things but no one accomplishes their goals with out saying ALOT of no’s.

    The author says

    No is so often hard to say, Ury writes, because it highlights the “tension between exercising your power and tending to your relationship”–

    Here he captures the emotional dilemma that keeps us from saying no. Reality it that discerning how to do this takes PRACTICE. Like any other skill saying no is more art than science.

    I struggle with saying no to new ideas- I’m an idea junkie - my own and others - the more I focus however the more ideas I have to say no to - my own and others.

    I also liked his point that people will connect with you when you say no to them in an appropriate, respectful and believable way - again more practice

  • Comment by: Helen

    2 03/14/07 12:09 PM | Comment Link |

    Thanks Jim.

    I really like the hope in ‘maybe you just need more practice’ as opposed to ‘you’ll never be good at that’.

    Maybe one of the things grace is all about is letting people practice - which means you need to let them do something they aren’t good at, so they can get better at it.

  • Comment by: jim henderson

    3 03/14/07 10:06 PM | Comment Link |

    Maybe one of the things grace is all about is letting people practice -

    Ordinary Attempts

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