Posted by Helen on: 03.14.2007 /
I found out yesterday that my neighbor Melissa is an Option Method Practitioner. It was an amazingly gorgeous day – sunny and low 70s – and we had wanted to get together to chat, so we went for a walk together rather than sitting inside and talking over coffee.
I had noticed that Melissa teaches some sort of ‘how to have a happier life’ classes at the health club we both belong to and was interested to hear about those. Melissa wanted to talk to me because my newspaper article intrigued her.
I hadn’t heard of the Option Method but when Melissa described it to me, I recognized the underlying concepts it’s based on. I told her that I found The Four Agreements helpful and she said there are similarities between that and the Option Method.
Here’s the description of the method from the Option Method Network’s site:
The Option Method is a highly effective way to help with depression, stress, anxiety, frustrations, relationship and marriage problems, and improve mental health. By asking carefully designed Option Method questions, anyone can discover the beliefs and attitudes underlying their depression and unhappiness. Exploring your responses to life’s circumstances is one of the most powerful and life-changing journeys you will ever take.
The links on that site explain a little about the method works. Basically it teaches you to ask yourself self-reflective questions – or you can have a practitioner like Melissa ask you the questions. The way Melissa explained it, it’s a nonjudgmental approach which helps you see that you are choosing to be happy or unhappy – and once you see that, you can make changes if you want.
Most of the people we live around and have contact with have their basic needs met. I agree that for such people, happiness is largely a choice. Melissa is very enthusiastic about the Option Method because when it changed her life when she came across it and found out her emotions didn’t have to be controlled by other people or external circumstances. Now as she teaches classes and works with people one on one, she sees it being profoundly helpful to them too.
Melissa said she was intrigued by my newspaper article because it indicated I’d been able to reflect on my beliefs and change some of them, which is what the Option Method is all about. She asked me if I’m an atheist and what changes I’d made. I told her how all the answers regarding how to be happy that I heard at church had God in them. I said I’d like people to know about such things as the Option Method as well, that there are other ways to change one’s state of happiness. I said that when the God answers didn’t work because I wasn’t sure whether God existed, I read an atheist discussion board over a period of time to find out how atheists could be happy without a belief in God.
We both agreed that if people have other ways of being happy, fine. And Melissa said she’s realized that trying to push what she’s enthusiastic about on others is counter-productive. She just tells people it’s out there and she knows that if they’re interested they’ll look into it.
Comment by: benjamin ady
1how profoundly respectful. This seems to be a rather counterculture way-of-being. I like it.
Comment by: Helen
2I like it too!
Comment by: Melissa
3Helen – I had a great time taking our walk and talking. Who knew there was such an interesting, bright, fun woman right up the street from me!
And, Ben – Thanks for the comment about being “profoundly respectful”. It took me years to stop pushing my ideas and acting like I had all the answers. Funny, that I couldn’t understand people didn’t want that approach when I didn’t like to being lectured. Now, I really just know that people can be trusted to find their own way and their own answers.
Comment by: Helen
4Thanks Melissa – that’s very kind of you; those were my thoughts too, after our walk.
Comment by: JUlie Marie
5What a nice thing to come of sharing and listening. A new friend right up the street!
I didn’t know the coversatons with Rev. Leuking were ongoing. What a busy blogger you are!