Posted by Helen on: 05.23.2007 /
This is my latest response in the newspaper dialog between me and Rev. Dean Lueking. It’s in the online Wednesday Journal already. I’m not sure whether it’s in the print edition today or not, since some submissions go online before they have room to run them in print.
In his most recent response to me [What shall we do with this cross? Viewpoints, March 27], fittingly published in the run-up to Easter, Rev. Dean Lueking shares what is special to him about the story of Jesus dying on the cross and rising again.
Dean, as I read your thoughts, beautifully articulated as always, I became dissatisfied with my own part in this conversation. I had the feeling “there’s something I’m forgetting to tell Dean.” I sensed it was important - in fact it’s the heart of the matter for me.
I lived in England in the countryside until I was 22. A perfect summer’s day there is sunny and pleasantly warm, the sky a beautiful deep blue. Usually the frequent wet days in between ensure a profusion of color and growth everywhere around. An amazing variety of wildflowers compete for space on unmanaged fields and every small grass verge.
I loved to be outside on those perfect summer days. School was out and my time was my own. I was connected with the world around me in a beautifully simple way. I drank it in and felt happy and free.
There was a simplicity and joy and freedom I had then which I lost along the way as I walked deeper and deeper into institutionalized Christianity. I didn’t realize it was gone until I started to walk away and rediscovered it again.
I have so much freedom I didn’t have 10 years ago. I’m free to be outside and stay there, fully connected and appreciative. Ten years ago I felt I had to turn inwards continually to thank Jesus or ask him for advice. I didn’t realize how distracting and disconnecting that was until I gave myself permission not to do it anymore.
I’m free to enjoy my relationships with other people to the full extent. I can appreciate their uniqueness without value judging them. As we interact, I’m free to follow the conversation wherever it may lead. I can explore what connects with them and abandon what doesn’t. I have no agenda, no essential message I have to pass on, regardless of whether it resonates with them.
I’m free, not to be self-centered but to fully live out my values in the hope of being the best human being I can be. I’ve always wanted to make a positive difference in the world I live in. All that has changed is, I’ve let go of a framework which told me what that looked like and asked me to wear an outfit which often didn’t fit me very well. It was uncomfortably constraining, but I wore it because I thought I had no choice.
The heart of the matter is, I’ve found a joy and freedom and simplicity I love. I’m free to live life to the full. My former outfit still hangs in my closet, and I could wear it again, but why would I, now I know I don’t have to? That would be madness.
Comment by: Karen
1Whoa .. I never thought of it that way, but I know what you mean! Exactly!
Beautifully written; thanks so much for posting it here. :-)
Comment by: Helen
2Thanks Karen :)
It took me a little while to be ready to write this one, because I wanted to present the positive side of where I’m at now and I felt I hadn’t done that so far. I’ve heard atheists talk about positive atheism. This is positive almost-atheism I guess!
After reading your response I decided to post it on iidb’s positive atheism forum to see what they think.
Comment by: Katharine
3What the fuck! I mean, I love nature too - but thanking Jesus and asking him for advice is just as much a part of living and appreciating life as anything. And it’s nice for you to feel so relaxed about your life now you don’t have to bring any message to people, but I don’t think Jesus feels the same way. ‘The son of man has nowhere to lay his head’ This is NOT a place to stop. Sure, smell the roses, but don’t forget that others can’t, and never will, unless we are willing to pass that message, you seem sadly to have abandoned, on. As Paul said ‘how will they know unless somebody tells them. It sounds like you’re taking the lead of everyone else and not God. I’m GLAD to turn inward for His guidance. I know I NEED it if I am to truly be of benefit to this world. And being ‘the best human being I can be’ isn’t what God called me to be. He called me to be like Jesus. Sure, it might be hard sometimes, not always ‘joyful’, but it wasn’t for Jesus either. Honestly, all you up your bum postmodern types are totally losing it. GET REAL!! Life is HARD and GOES TO SHIT for many people - they NEED JESUS. YOU need Jesus. More than flowers.
Comment by: Helen
4Katharine, thanks for your response.
I’m never going to need Jesus just because you yell at me that I do. In my experience yelling at someone that they have a need never created that need. Have you found differently? Is that approach working well with other people? Are they saying “Wow, Katharine, you’re so right!”
You said God didn’t call you to be the best human being you can be but I don’t see how it’s possible that a good God would call anyone to be less than the best they can be. Which also is being like Jesus - unless you think he was less than the best human he could be. It makes no sense to me the way you separate being the best possible human and being like Jesus. Why would those two things be different?
I understand how hard life is for some people. The last thing it would make sense for me to do is tell them to place all their hope in something I don’t have a belief in myself. It would be like a doctor prescribing a medication he hadn’t found to work. It would be cruel and unethical. People need hope but I believe others can give that to them when they are short of it themselves. And others giving it to them actually works way better than Christians who tell them (or even yell at them) that Jesus is the answer, but offer no compassion or caring themselves. If other people don’t care why would anyone believe Jesus cares?
As for my head being ‘up my bum’, well, obviously it isn’t or I couldn’t smell the roses, could I? Think about it :)
You’re welcome to post here more but please bear in mind we advocate friendly dialog here, not yelling. Since we are not a group that enjoys being yelled at.
Comment by: Jim Henderson
5Katharine - don’t you think you should avoid the appearance of evil? Or how about swearing? I mean it’s fine to make your point but are you sure your god will like the way you do it?
Comment by: Doreen A Mannion
6I’m amused that post-moderns have found a way to express that doesn’t rely on George Carlin’s 7 banned words.
When thankfulness and openness to guidance are in my heart, I find I don’t have to so much “talk” about them; these things just flow to & fro.