Posted by Helen on: 05.24.2007 /
Benjamin Ady started a new blog, Three Blessings, this week. Here’s why, from his about page
Martin Seligman and co, in the process of developing positive psychology, have done a bunch of double blind randomnized controlled trials of a whole bunch of exercises that are supposed to make you feel happier, and found out which ones actually work long term. One of their most effective finds is a little exercise called three blessings. The way it works is this: each and every day, you write down three things that went well that day, and why they went well. This has been shown to increase happiness long term. So I’m starting up this blog to do just that.
Benjamin’s inviting other people to post their three daily blessings on there too.. (I like the idea but I think it would be unwise for me to add any more blog posting to my own life at present!)
I’m enjoying reading Three Blessings and it’s reminding me to be more intentional about noticing what went well in my day.
Comment by: benjamin ady
1Helen,
Thankyou for the link! I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, and finally got around to it. I’ve been fascinated by Seligman and Positive psychology for some time. Here’s the article in which they found the effectiveness of the three blessings exercise. It it, of course, academic, and therefore not written at a popular level, but it’s still way easier to read than a lot of the un follow able stuff one runs across in journals!
Comment by: Helen
2Benjamin, I really like positive psychology too.
I first heard about it in What Happy People Know by Dan Baker, a very readable book I recommend. It’s full of stories of people he helped rediscover their strengths.
It doesn’t come across as him saying how great he is to have helped those people, which is a problem I find with some books along those lines.
I like Seligman’s ideas but I find his own writing hard to read.
My husband just read a book Stumbling On Happiness which he keeps telling me about – I’d like to read it when I can find time.
Comment by: Doreen
3I know people laughed at Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live (“I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me”), but there is something to be said for positive thinking.
Comment by: Helen
4Yes, I agree. Positive thinking is helpful.
Comment by: Elaine
5I think Seligman is about more than just “positive” thinking.
Seligman has a website that has surveys you can take to help identify the “good qualities/characteristiscs” you have.
His work is with the University of Pennsylvania. Just Google “authentic happiness” and the site should come up.
Seligman’s surveys help you identify your strengths.
For example, people get bad reviews for not being a detailed person (or not being a good sales person, etc.) (their strengths in the job are barely mentioned) – and yet, you are either wired to be detailed or you’re not. Practice won’t make you into a detail person – it will give you some tools to improve – slightly.
(my grandchildren are good examples of 2 differently wired individuals doing the same task with different strengths – once I had both of them help me put the labels on books for the bookstore – Jacob (age 6) and Sam (age 11) watched as I showed them how to put the labels over the old bar code. Jacob was very precise in putting the labels on, if it was not lined up with the edge of the cover, he carefully removed it and reapplied it – Sam figured if she put on the back side of the book near where the old barcode was – that was close enough. Getting her to care about making it precise was not possible – for Jacob, he couldn’t not care.)
What I like about Seligman’s work is that it is life affirming. On a personal level, I have discovered as I am part of an environment that is life affirming I become more “myself”.
Comment by: Helen
6Elaine, I agree. Seligman, as you say, is about finding our strengths. The term ‘positive thinking’ doesn’t really explain that that’s his specific methodology, does it?
Great noticing about your grandchildren and not value-judging one’s strengths as ‘better’ than the other’s. They’re just different. It works much better to help people find jobs and tasks which fit their strengths than to try to change peoples’ strengths – which often doesn’t work at all. Although humans do have some ability to learn and adapt (at least, if learning and adapting is a strength of theirs!)
And I also agree that life affirming environments help us be more ‘ourselves’.