Posted by Helen on: 10.23.2007 /
My new online friend Glenn Hager tagged me to blog about what I was doing 10, 20 and 30 years ago.
10 years ago I lived where I do now, in Oak Park (just outside Chicago). I was a stay at home Mom with a 2 and 4 year old. I was very much a Christian. This was a good time for me. I’d just joined Bible Study Fellowship and was loving it. I was very happy to be completely back to good mental health - I was ill for a number of months in 1996, my first episode of mental illness. Right around this time I went to an all-day conference at church led by Larry Crabb on Connecting, which I thought was awesome. It gave me lots of ideas about people helping and also helped me be less fearful about my illness. He became one of my favorite authors after that.
20 years ago I was living in downtown Chicago, having moved there from England a year earlier with my then-fiance. We’d just got married. I was working for a pension consulting firm and he was working on his PhD at the University of Chicago. I was very much a Christian; he was an atheist; I became a Christian while we were dating. This had led to lots of advice that I should break up with him which I had struggled with and made me feel like not a very good Christian. We stayed together and got married anyway since that was what we both wanted to do. I was attending a well-known conservative church in Chicago at this time but I didn’t get married there - I didn’t even ask them about marrying us since I knew they both would not do it and would try to persuade me it wasn’t God’s will. We got married in a small pretty Seminary chapel bordering the University of Chicago campus. A very friendly Episcopal chaplain associated with the University officiated, who evidently was not bothered by the difference in our beliefs/nonbeliefs..
30 years ago I was living in England and was a third year in secondary school (I would have been in eighth grade here). I was not a Christian. I played violin and piano, was in the school choir and orchestra and hated geography. I owned a polaroid camera and liked taking photos (although the film was too expensive for me to take many). I had to wear a school uniform which included white shirts. Because of this I did the laundry for my family in exchange for $1 a week extra allowance. The benefit to me (as well as the extra allowance) was, I could wash my white shirts separately so they didn’t go grey. Which was what had happened to my first set of white school shirts.
I see that John Smulo has already been tagged. John was only four thirty years ago! Now I feel old…
I tag Benjamin, Rachel, Paul (when his internet is working again), Mike and Julie.
Comment by: benjamin ady
1 10/23/07 7:27 AM | Comment Link |You think you feel old now? =)
Comment by: Helen
2 10/23/07 7:49 AM | Comment Link |I know, I know…your post isn’t going to make me feel any younger!
Comment by: glenn
3 10/23/07 7:58 AM | Comment Link |Helen- Thanks for playing along! I am still the oldest person who has gotten this virus!
Comment by: Helen
4 10/23/07 8:07 AM | Comment Link |Hi glenn, seems like we should have tagged some older folks! :-)
Comment by: Eliza
5 10/24/07 7:26 PM | Comment Link |I read Glenn’s & John Smulo’s 10-20-30 entries - interesting, & I notice that Glenn is showing some signs of memory mistakes as he ages! (The start of the 30-yr entry….ha!)
You didn’t tag me, and I don’t have a blog, but I’ll take a stab at this in the hopes that some other ‘ordinary folk’ will also post their life histories…
10 yrs ago, at this time, I was just about to become pregnant with my now-9-yr-old son. So you know what I was up to! My husband and I had lived in our current house, north of Seattle, for 3 years.
20 yrs ago, I was in medical school in Boston, learning all sorts of fascinating things (which I still continue to learn, some of them over and over!). I was rooming with my best friend, a classmate, & in a long-distance relationship with my now-husband.
30 yrs ago, I was in high school (10th grade) in California, enjoying the company of a big group of friends, probably doing lots of homework, and bicycling all around town as my means of transportation.
Comment by: benjamin ady
6 10/24/07 9:53 PM | Comment Link |eliza–you rock. hadn’t thought of doing it here. long time no see. coming to otm live at all?
10 years ago I was at Debron Conference Center in the Netherlands, at the global action launch conference for my cohort of Global action, hanging out with about 400 other people from all over the planet who were all there to hang out and learn for a couple weeks before departing to more places all over the world to “spread the gospel” (quotes because I have *absolutely* no idea what that means). We played a game in which half of us were the “missionaries” and the other half the “natives”. The natives spoke a slightly altered version of english in which there were a couple simple but hard to figure out rules for beginning and ending sentences, which the missionaries were unwittingly trying to figure out. the deal was when one of the missionaries finally figured out the rules, but used them ever so slightly incorrectly, the native to whom they were talking was to shout “crucify” at the top of thier lungs. At this point, all the other natives (some 200 of us) were to take up the shout “Crucify” as loudly as possible, and chase all the missionaries out of the building.
That was actually astoundingly disturbing and frightening from both sides–that whole 200 people angrily shouting crucify. I had known it was gonna happen, and I *still* found it terrifying.
20 years ago. I was about to turn 13. There’s a tough time for anybody! We had just returned from 3 years in (the former) West Germany, where I had two enormously good friends, Neil and Gary, for three years. So I was missing them terribly, and feeling really confused and super alone in the world. And we were just beginning to get involved in the sect in which I was to spend the next 10 years. And I was just about to jump off into a 12 year process of becoming increasingly and altogther entangled in addiction.
30 years ago I was about to turn 3 years old. My mum was about to quit her then 5 (?) year long Air Force Career in order to stay home with baby Benjamin. My dad had not yet ever spent time in a psychiatric ward anywhere (I think), and He was … 10 years into his 20 year long Air Force career. He had probably already sustained a lot of the physical damage that would lead to decades of chronic pain and heart disease. I can almost guarantee that both of my parents were fun loving, hard working, hard playing individuals who were mostly altogether delighted by my existence =)
Comment by: Helen
7 10/25/07 4:47 AM | Comment Link |Thanks for sharing, Eliza and Benjamin! I was hoping some people would; I should have made that clearer in my post. Eliza thanks for jumping in in spite of my lack of a clear invitation and getting the ball rolling. I’m glad you had lots of friends in tenth grade.
Benjamin, I didn’t know you’d lived in Germany. Did you learn much German? Do you remember any? I also didn’t know your father was ever in the psych ward. I feel sorry for anyone who has been through that; maybe it’s the best option sometimes but even so as a patient I thought it totally sucked. (Yes, it sucked way worse than church ever has, for me :-))
20 years ago you were about the age I was 30 years ago…I was also thinking that age wasn’t great and I wasn’t sure what to say about it.
Comment by: benjamin ady
8 10/25/07 11:13 AM | Comment Link |Hey helen,
I leanred a tiny bit of German, very nearly all forgotten now.
I wish my parents had dumped me in a German school somehow the moment we arrived. It would have sucked, but I’d be ever so grateful now. As it was, I was cocooned in Americanness my whole time there.
yeah–you know something’s bad when it sucks worse than church (oh dear. why do I say these things, when y’all can’t see my little smirk and slightly raised eyebrows?)
yeah, I gotta remember the thing about 13 to keep it generally in mind when my kids are that ageish, so I can remember to add about 6 extra grains of compassion into all my behavior and dialogue.
Comment by: Helen
9 10/25/07 12:28 PM | Comment Link |They probably did it to make life easier for you.
My husband and his sister were sent to boarding school because his father was in the navy and they kept moving every couple of years. Boarding school was a way of giving them some continuity and stability through the important school years and also the schools were very close to where their grandparents, uncle and aunt and cousin lived (and they didn’t move around).
I couldn’t imagine ever sending my kids to boarding school but I understand my parents-in-law made that choice.
At least church isn’t my definition of ‘nothing could be worse than this’.
Actually for me it wasn’t that church was excruciatingly bad as much as, it became irrelevant and not a place that worked for someone with my sort of doubts/issues. So it became boring/frustrating and I decided I’d rather stay home (or go somewhere) with my husband and kids Sunday mornings than divide the family up so I could do something I wasn’t into and my kids weren’t either.
Good luck with that - it’s not easy when you are the target of the rolled eyes ;-)
Comment by: Meg
10 10/25/07 3:38 PM | Comment Link |10 years ago - 1997 - I was studying journalism at Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia. I was rather reclusive, going for long walks on the beach every day with Emma - our beautiful black labrador. My photography class was unusually small, meaning inordinate #s of photo assignments for each of us. I had a front page story about prostitution, which was very interesting to write!
20 years ago - 1987 I was a senior at Bendigo High, Victoria. My brother Stephen, aged 2, died from a heart condition, and I spun into depression. He was a darling little boy. I wish he was still around now.
30 years ago - 1977 - I lived in Cambridge, England, and attended Brunswick Infants’ School. I had an English accent, and loved playing with my brother Tom in the long grass where we would ‘risk our lives’ and have incredible adventures!
Comment by: Helen
11 10/25/07 4:03 PM | Comment Link |Hi Megs, thanks for sharing - I didn’t know you lived in Cambridge (England) at one point!
I’m so sorry about Stephen. :(I remember seeing a post about him on your blog - probably on his birthday.
Comment by: Meg
12 10/25/07 11:43 PM | Comment Link |Thanks Helen!
You’re so kindly!
Comment by: Helen
13 10/26/07 3:41 AM | Comment Link |Thanks Meg! I’m looking forward to seeing you again next week!
Comment by: Elaine
14 10/27/07 9:20 AM | Comment Link |Let’s see if I can jump into the flow of things… (after reading through this, I am flooded with memories of God showing up and giving me enough light for the next step, for bringing a friend into my life, Eric into my life. I am grateful.)
10 years ago, 1997 - my parent’s 50th anniversay, my youngest graduated from high school, my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, had his foot amputated, and died within 8 weeks of diagnosis. 4 weeks into this 8 weeks, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (multiple myeloma- she lived another 3.5 years.) My mother moved in with us - 2 of my mom’s sisters died…My sister and I became closer as she spent more time in Cincinnati visiting our parents (she lived in Louisiana). That was a great blessing to reconnect with her. Lots of laughter and tears with Katie. What a great sister. My parents’ friends were amazing in helping me get them to doctors’ appointments - my parent’s lived 35 miles from me. I couldn’t have done it without their kindness and compassion.
20 years ago - 1987 - changed my life, Eric and I married - a 2nd marriage for both of us. Lots of hard work, resistance from my 17, 15, & 8 year old adjusting to having a man in the house again. :) Wonderful trip to Virginia Beach and Hilton Head.
30 years ago - 1977 - laid off from work at the IRS - spend a wonderful summer home with my 2 oldest children - Erica would not arrive until 1978 - loved the time with them in our new house and connecting with my neighbors - before returning to the corporate world and the hassle of childcare in the 70s. It was the beginning of the end of my first marriage. We separated in 1978, 2 months before Erica was born. That summer was a resting place. I was very grateful for that summer with Nick and Tina - it sustained me and helped me build relationship with my best friend, Joyce.
Comment by: Helen
15 10/28/07 5:15 AM | Comment Link |Thanks for sharing, Elaine - it’s neat to learn more about your life. You have had quite an eventful one.