Posted by Helen on: 11.11.2007 /
Sarah posted this comment yesterday.
Hi, My name is Sarah and I was just today at a Lunch Q&A With Jim. I am in a catholic (Jesuit) highschool where i am the head of the christian non catholic section. I have many issues trying to promote christianity with my school board pushing me to be the head of Non-christians. I thought of starting a group at my school called Conversation not Conversion In which students can come together and talk. Jim told me to post my idea on here to receive feedback and perhaps help in being strong through my struggle of wanting to sit on the sidelines not in the spotlight.
Comment by: Helen
1Hi Sarah, I’m glad you posted here.
Wow, your school board must think highly of you to ask you to head the non-Christian section at school! That’s great.
Conversation not conversion sounds like a wonderful title for a group!
Jim was recently reminding me of some helpful things about groups. He said, people like groups when they get to talk and people listen. So really, all you have to do is ask questions and let them answer. And then say something back which showed you paid attention like, a follow up question or “Wow, I never knew you were so interested in [that]. Thanks for sharing about it!”
What you are doing is taking the spotlight and shining it on someone else so they get a turn. That will make both of you happy - it’s very fun to be able to do that.
Questions which help you to get to know each other without being intrusive can be really helpful. Like, “What’s your favorite thing to do at weekends?” “What’s the most exciting thing that happened to you this fall?”
If your group gets to a size where you need structure, you could feature people and ask them to talk about a special interest of theirs. As you get to know people you will probably find out that they are experts on things everyone else doesn’t know much about. And they could share about that at a meeting.
Those are a few ideas. The other thing I wanted to do is mention that we have some stories from high schoolers on one of our blogs about how exciting it is when they have made an effort to have a conversation with someone else at school they didn’t know. The high schoolers are in a youth group in Seattle called U Turn - hence the title of one of these links
Are you really, REALLY, Christian?
UTurn’s Jump Start OA
Oas Emails UTurn OAers
I hope you start the group - it’s actually good that you feel a bit uncomfortable about it - people who start something like this with confidence usually do it worse because they think they know how and are less open to learning and seeing what works.
If you share that you’re uncomfortable with the people in the group (or people you’re inviting) and say “I don’t know if I’m the right person to do this - but I said yes because I really want this to happen so we can get to be friends with each other” then I think they will be on your side and help you make it work. I don’t think they’ll laugh at you or be mean. (But if some do, that’s ok - just ask other people because I’m sure there are some non-Christian students at the high school who would like a group like this)
Please let us know how it goes - I would love to hear!
Comment by: Elaine
2Hi Sarah,
Thanks for risking to put your question here. I love your group name “conversation, not conversion”.
I am part of an association working to restore community in Cincinnati. It is lead by this amazing person, Peter Block. If you Google his name, you will find some of the books he has written - mostly focused on organizational development.
What I have learned from Peter has reduced my anxiety in inviting others to be part of a group. Maybe something will be helpful to you too.
To learn more about our association, go to http://www.asmallgroup.net. On the site is a small manual for leading small groups through the “civic engagement series”.
Peter believes that instead of having the same conversations over and over again, if you can change the conversation, you can change the culture - one conversation at a time.
here are a few items from “civic engagement”.
1. the invitation is very important.
2. focus on who shows up - not on who is not there. Whoever shows up - chose to be there - honor that.
3. whoever shows up are the right people.
4. whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened.
5. Begin by giving them a context for why you invited them. Thank them for showing up.
6. Share with them a powerful question. Allow them to sit with it for a few minutes and then invite each person to respond or pass as they feel moved. Being able to pass is very important.
7. For the first night, you might ask, “what is the crossroads that(or what about the invitation) brought you here tonight?”
8. The power of small groups - if more than 5 show up - break into groups of 3-5. This will allow everyone’s voice to be heard.
9. It is important for everyone’s voice to be heard - it just doesn’t have to be heard by everyone. By breaking into small groups, everyone’s voice is heard.
After a group has had several conversations, there are even guidelines for having the “dissent” conversation. Which I would think could be very powerful for non-Christians attending a Caholic high school. (a powerful question might be - what are your doubts and reservations about being part of this group?)
This is probably way more than you were looking for - and way more than I intended to write. I will stop - but I encourage you to check out A Small Group.
Let us know how your group goes.
Comment by: joe
3Not sure I am understanding - I think you’re saying that you are the ‘head of christian non catholic section’ and your teacher wants you to be ‘head of Non-christians’.
Not sure I would have been head of anything just because the teacher told me too.
Start your group and don’t let them put you into a box that they’ve decided you need to be in. Good luck with it.
Comment by: Pam Hogeweide
4love the name and the overall idea. helen and elaine have given you some great ideas to think about it. i’d add one more : have refreshments. :-)
Comment by: Helen
5Elaine thanks for all those great suggestions.
Joe, I hear what you’re saying - it sounds like the teachers like what Sarah is doing leading non-Catholic Christians and have asked her to extend her leadership further. It sounds like an invitation which is a compliment rather than a demand. But I don’t know any more than you do - I’m just guessing.
Yes, refreshments - awesome idea - thanks Pam!
Comment by: Sarah
6THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, you all are a great help. I brought it up with my adminstration today and it looks like i will be fighting for it but you all have been a great help in giving me the motivation and ideas in which to help me pursue an anvenue i am passionate about
-THANKS Sarah
Comment by: Helen
7Hi Sarah, thanks for coming back to read the responses! I’m glad they’re helpful. Please let us know how things work out.