Posted by Eliza on: 12.06.2007 /
Eliza here. The discussion about Silent Reflection and Student Prayer Act prompted me to consider what it is I think during, and about, moments of silence initiated for a group of people by someone speaking to the group. You know, after the speaker says, “And now, let us have a moment of silence.” That led to the realization that I don’t think I’ve ever heard people describing how they approach these moments, or what they tend to think about (or do) during them. This seems like an area in which there may be some surprising differences and similarities in our experiences, in part based on religion, but also based on many other factors.
Could you tell us, in your own experience:
Comment by: Helen
1Thanks for your post, Eliza!
My experience of announced moments of silence is that they’ve been associated with tragic events and/or death.
The meaning for me of participating is that I’m showing respect for the person/people who died/suffered. I’m saying “I care enough to stop for a moment and give my attention to the people who suffered because of this”. I suppose that doesn’t directly them in a practical way – although it might lead me into it, because pausing to think about them for a moment might give me the idea I should help them in a practical way. And maybe I’ll follow through on that.
When it’s a national moment of silence I hope the surviving people who suffered are a little encouraged that people have noticed what they’ve been through – that they are not simply continuing on with their lives regardless. But I am sometimes afraid that these moments of silence make people feel good about themselves for ‘caring’ and they don’t follow through in any way. So they are deceived into think they’ve helped more than they have, when generally people who have suffered have very practical needs that they would love to have help with, as well as knowing someone stopped what they were doing for a moment of silence on their behalf.
I haven’t been in a context where a moment of silence isn’t associated with the suffering/death of others so I’m not sure how I’d feel in a different context. I might feel shut out if it seemed like people were engineering opportunities for people to pray, since I don’t pray. I don’t feel that way when it’s announced in connection with tragedy/death.
I think there is something about prayer I should still do even though I don’t pray – and regrettably, now I don’t pray I don’t do that ‘thing’ either. I’m not sure what to call it but it seems that there is something beneficial about taking time out to ‘still’ myself. I find it has a helpful calming effect. But it’s not part of my routine so I don’t tend to do it as much as I think I should.
Comment by: Benjamin ady
2Hooray–a post from Eliza!!
yes, I like them. a lot. For me, they serve the purpose of stopping and … recentering. So over the last year I’ve learned the very vaguest beginnings of vipassana meditation. So I usually start them by focusing on my breath. And usually they’re so short that there’s no time for any thing other than that (cause your average american, imnsho, can’t cope with more than about 30 seconds of silence, so they tend not to go too long)
So I do that no matter who started it, or whether there are others around or not. I find it really relaxing and helpful.
But I guess for some people that wouldn’t be the case–they would depend a lot more on the context.
Comment by: Eliza
3“Moments of silence” do seem mostly to be around tragic events, involving 1 or more deaths. I like the idea of showing respect, & for me there’s a sense of community or humanity in everyone stopping for a bit & showing that respect at the same time.
Helen, the other situations I’ve run into them are (1) before a meal, instead of grace, when I’ve been a guest somewhere, and (2) occasionally during the service at the UU church I’ve been going to. In each of those settings, it seems like the “moment of silence” occupies a spot where prayer would otherwise be offered. I suppose some of the purpose is the same (reflection, gratitude, re-centering) yet it also seems quite different in a way. (Because no-one has said, “Let us pray”? Because we’re not all addressing our thoughts to the same being/power? Because we’re not sharing a well-established tradition? I’m not sure.) In the pre-meal situation, the parallel with saying grace is pretty clear, & those situations make me more uncomfortable. During UU services, I feel more like any thoughts that come during that time are valid, though there is a self-imposed sense almost of peer pressure to try to think something lofty, not mundane. :-)
Benj, I’m glad you find you can go into meditation breathing (& clear your thoughts?) during moments of silence, & even more powerful, most anytime you find it would be helpful. (Except during tests? Especially during tests??) I wish I were better at that. My thoughts wander during these times (but, then, they do so all the time!). I’m not good at shutting off my train of thought & simply being in the moment; I failed Meditation 101 & would have to take the remedial course!
Part of what I think about during a “moment of silence” is, “what am I supposed to be doing with this time, mentally?” And part is, “Gosh it’s too bad so-and-so died. I hope he/she had a good life.” (Or, if it’s before a meal, I do think or a moment how grateful I am to have food on the table, and how deeply so many people are suffering all over the world from hunger.) But none of these thoughts takes all that long, so I end up doing sort of a mental thumb-twiddling, which feels lame & superficial, like I’m not capturing the wonderful potential for spiritual connection or enlightenment or something like that. (Part of the problem, perhaps, is often not knowing how long the “moment” will be, & so how deep to go into any one line of thought. Having a set prayer, like the Lord’s prayer or grace that your family always says before a meal sets the time frame better, it seems. And people who repeat a short mantra during silence are probably better able to deal with silence of unknown duration, too.)
On the other hand, these moments are relaxing & sort of refreshing and cleansing, like a deep breath.
Comment by: benjamin ady
4Eliza,
yeah–of course there’s that distracting thought thing going on. We’re taught not to try to deny it, but rather to gently acknowledge it, and return to the breath–just gently noticing the breath. in. out. it tends to make me very very sleepy very quickly (inside the first 3 minutes). I start having these jaw cracking yawns. which is kinda of funny, in a way.
Comment by: Ben
5Do you like…? No.
What purpose? To appear respectful.
What do you usually think about? My mind wanders until it’s over.
Does it depend on? No.
Do you pray during these moments? No.
How are group “moments of silence” different? They are done for appearances.
Comment by: Eliza
6Ben, thanks for your answers to my set of questions. Are there times when you take a moment of silence for yourself, in whatever setting, apart from what others are doing at that time?
Benj, I’m picturing you cracking great yawns during a group meditation session – contagious great yawns! :-)
Comment by: Steph
7I always used to think that “moments of silence” were cop out substitutes for prayer. *blush* But as I’ve been broadening my horizons, and also learning just how much noise we cram into every minute, I appreciate more opportunities for quiet. Learning to contemplate, meditate, and generally keep my mouth shut (tho silencing my thoughts I seem to be hopeless at), is a good thing :)
Comment by: Benjamin ady
8Eliza,
yeah that’s interesting–the contagion part. I’d never thought about it. The eyes are generally closed. Now I’m gonna have to check. Damn. Actually…. Don’t think I will. Shall let it remain a mystery, which I shall gently acknowledge before returning to the breath … =)
Comment by: Eliza
9Does anyone here pray during moments of silence? (It seems pretty likely that alot of people do…or am I wrong on that?)