Prayer breakfast with the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

Posted by Helen on: 04.17.2008 /

My trip to Seattle began with Jim asking me a couple of months ago “If I could get you a ticket to a private prayer breakfast with the Dalai Lama would you come?” That was an exciting question to be asked and it didn’t take me long to decide yes, I’d definitely travel to Seattle for that opportunity.

There were a few Off The Map people and friends invited. We got up early and headed downtown together. It was fun to be there with other people I knew and hear their thoughts on it afterwards. Check out Randy’s excellent summary. We were told to bring no bags or cameras. I took a small notebook and pen in my pocket so I could take notes (I would have thought taking a pen I could stab the Dalai Lama with is more threatening than a camera but whatever).

I’m so glad I was able to take notes - many powerful words were spoken that morning. Along with that, I was caught off guard by the power of the unspoken messages I saw. It was an amazing, surprising morning.

I thought this would be a serious event - I mean, it’s a prayer breakfast, right? And of course prayer is a serious business! What I saw was the last thing I expected. When the Dalai Lama walked in Desmond Tutu acted like his favorite friend in the whole world had showed up. They gave each other several big hugs and then proceeded to alternately praise each other and tease each other. Here are some of the things they said to/about each other:

DT to DL: Thank you for being you. People can see the incarnation of goodness in you. I’m just a sidekick!

When we’re together I often say: “The cameras are on us - remember to behave like holy men!”

DL: I’m weaker spiritually than him. [to DT] I appreciate your kind words. He’s my brother and boss - he makes these big eyes at me sometimes [I think he meant, he gives me hard stares]. He always brings me inner joy and strength. So - [turning to face DT] - I see you’ve gained some weight!

DT: In the true spirit of the hiddenness of spirituality, he doesn’t tell you about his extraordinary life of prayer. He’s up at 4 every morning and prays until 6. He’s a person of extraordinary discipline: this doesn’t happen by accident.

DL [interrupts]: 3:30, actually!

They made comments and gestures to each other throughout the event. They both smiled and laughed easily - in fact they kept dissolving into giggles together much like me and my best friend when we were ten. I was blown away - I can’t imagine a more effective demonstration of the power of relationship in the face of difference. They each seemed completely comfortable that they were from different belief traditions.

Once the hugs finally subsided (that took a while) Desmond Tutu shared very powerfully about God. Here’s some of what he said

God being omnipotent is also impotent. He weeps with us and feels with us.

God doesn’t give useful advice from a safe distance but enters the fiery furnace with us. [Here he shared from the Bible story of when three Jewish men were thrown into the fiery furnace. Not only were they not burned up but a fourth person was seen in there walking around with them - God himself. He didn't have a Bible with him - he just shared the story.]

Compassion means, feeling with; gentle; stepping side by side with us.

Are we gentle with ourselves? Often we are mad at ourselves. We need to be gentle with ourselves so we can be gentle with others.

Isaiah gives the image of a mother and says “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she’s borne? Even if she could I would never forget you.”

[Then he transitioned into God's voice and the transition was very natural - he made no big deal of it as he continued in a kind, gentle yet passionate voice. These quiet words carried as much power I've ever heard in 'prophetic' utterances in my years of church experience]

If I didn’t breathe into you gently all the time, you’d pass out of existence. You’re so precious. You’re the only one I have that would help me pass on my compassion. Please help me. My world is a broken one; fragile; and it needs gentleness. It needs you who have the breath of life from me. Please pass on my caring and gentleness. Help me heal my wounded world. I have no one except you.

What struck me about this was: this is the way I was taught to talk to God and Desmond Tutu turned it around! If Jesus truly is the incarnation of God - God yet fully human - then we can turn all our devotion and worship to God around and have God speak those words back to us. To me that’s the amazing power of God becoming one of us. Yet I rarely hear what I call ‘reverse prayer/worship’ done, especially so eloquently and poetically as this. I love it whenever I encounter it because I think “that person really gets how radical it is that God became human in Jesus.”

The Dalai Lama responded

Beautiful presentation. What can I add? You bring us the voice of God - alive and fresh, wonderful.

He did then add some remarks of his own, of course. I didn’t take as many notes on his - this is all I have written down from that part of the event

All traditions ultimately have the same message of love. compassion, tolerance and contentment. They have different philosophies and approaches but the same message.

We need to gain inner experience through the practice of our own traditions - we should be serious and sincere about our own faith and make that part of our daily lives. Some people follow traditions without knowing the meaning of them. We should understand what our traditions mean.

When asked how he maintains love and hope in the face of the troubles going on back in China and Tibet - he had mentioned the killing and said “Pray for us” - he responded

This is an opportunity for us towards those who create suffering. I try to keep a positive attitude. You can develop an appreciation for this opportunity to practice love.

You need a real enemy to practice love - not just one in your imagination.

A little later he shared a story about a monk saying to him “I’m in danger.” “Of what - your life?” “No, I’m in danger of losing my compassion towards the Chinese.”

Desmond Tutu concluded with these words

I don’t know of any faith that promotes violence and hatred. Each faith has good and bad people: there are good and bad Christians, Buddhists, and so on.

Christians are the last ones to be hoity-toity. [At this Pam Sardar said to me - that will need some translating! The Dalai Lama had an interpreter sitting just behind him who whispered to him when the Dalai Lama turned to him. This was one of those moments!]

Look at what we supported: slavery, and apartheid. The holocaust. The Klu Klux Klan bear a cross.

[And then turning to the Dalai Lama, his final remark]

I don’t imagine God saying to you “You’re such a wonderful person. What a pity you’re not a Christian!”

The audience loved the closing remark. I enjoyed it and at the same time was thinking “wow, way to be provocative: he just proved he’s a heretic in certain Christian circles and I’m sure he knows that as well as I do”.

Another touch I liked was the moderator saying there were people from at least 17 different spiritual traditions there. I particularly liked two thing: he included ‘unaffiliated’ and he waited until about number 15 on his list to mention Christianity. Zoroastrianism and Jainism were listed before Christianity was!

I was hoping to meet Rabbi David Rosen at this event since I knew he’d be there. I was impressed by some things I read about him last fall and email interviewed him for CatE at that time. There was only an opportunity to shake hands and say hello at this event but I was glad to at least be able to do that.

Jim met David and apologized to him on behalf of Christians for the patronizing behavior of a pastor towards David which was what led me to contact David in the first place.

Sunil met David too. Sunil is passionate and direct, even with people he’s just met (evidently) - I was very intrigued by this exchange between Sunil and David:

Sunil: It sounds good but it’s a lie - all religions aren’t the same!
David: Absolutely!

That was another powerful example of dialog in face of difference even though it only lasted a moment.

After breakfast Randy and I agreed the breakfast already made the trip worthwhile, whatever else was going to happen that day.

I’ll write about the event which followed - the public panel discussion - in my next post. I wished everyone at that could have been at the prayer breakfast too. They got a sense of the neat relationship between the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu but not as much as at the breakfast and they didn’t get to hear Desmond Tutu sharing God’s heart powerfully in the way he did at breakfast.

Doug Pagitt later said two things about the Dalai Lama, one of which I agreed with. After seeing some remarks repeated in the panel discussion which were made at the breakfast he said the Dalai Lama/Desmond Tutu part seemed like too much of a show. I didn’t feel that way because even if they were ‘playing to the crowd’ - and sure, they probably were, what’s wrong with that? I loved it and I felt it was authentic nevertheless. It was not done to manipulate us in the way I’ve often felt church ’shows’ are done. And if anyone doesn’t think church is at least partly a show then…I wonder if they’ve been lately! So I didn’t agree with that - or, I sort of did but it didn’t bother me like it bothered him.

(Edited to add: Doug Pagitt has posted a video of his reflections on the prayer breakfast and events later in the day - in there he explains his view much better than my above paragraph)

His other observation I thought was excellent - that isn’t there a huge contradiction in having a man speak of non-violent methods and yet he is surrounded by armed security guards who it seems would be pretty quick to use them had any perceived threat arisen (else why bear them?) I agree. I think questions could be asked like, is it the US who requires this? Imagine the diplomatic issues if something happened to him on US soil. Yet, yes, fundamentally there’s a big disconnect there.

Stay tuned for my comments on the public event (they’re up now).

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Semi-Related Posts

• Panel discussion with the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
• Seattle and the Dalai Lama
• Christians, Compassion and Interfaith Meetings
• Tuesday afternoon and evening
• Yesterday and today
• Politicizing the National Day of Prayer
• National day of prayer

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