Posted by Helen on: 09.22.2008 /
I thought this was interesting. I’ve wondered what natural processes C-sections might interfere with. Although obviously a C-section is better than mother and/or baby dying in childbirth.
The article author resonates with the findings but they don’t reflect my own experience. Right before my second (scheduled) C-section I asked if I could see the baby as soon as possible after delivery. I still had to wait 3 hours because all babies over 9lbs at that hospital had to have a ’sugar test’. When I finally got to hold her at midnight I was delighted, especially because she was awake enough to nurse a little. As best I can remember my babies’ cries had a big effect on me, notwithstanding the C-sections.
Comment by: Brad
1 09/22/08 2:38 PM | Comment Link |Hey Helen,
This is fascinating. My wife and I did lots of research before the having our first child, and we decided to go all natural. (I have nothing but the utmost respect for my wife.) We learned that having an episiotomy, as is usual in the case of an epidural, often keeps the baby from spitting up the fluid in its lungs. Babies born naturally, when they turn their head to get past the perineum naturally compress their chests and spit out the fluid, thus breathing on their own. No need for suction…or a good slap on the rump.
Okay, I know it’s been a while since I’ve been around. I guess it’s a little embarassing to be talking about vaginal birth…just out of the blue. HA HA.
Brad
Comment by: marion
2 09/23/08 6:05 AM | Comment Link |this seems another article that generalises too much…
I, also, had two C-sections…the first emergency one with a G.A. which meant I, and my baby son, were out of things for a while after..
the second was also emergency but an epidural was already in, and afterwards I didn’t get to hold her for about 2 hours as the midwife had to manually suck out [with some sort of tube]the meconium that my baby daughter had swallowed in her distress.
I was very responsive to both my babys’ crying as soon as they did and when I was awake after the G.A. one…
I remember, in my drugged state, singing ‘Consider How He Loves You’ to my son, whilst we were still in the recovery room :)[as I had sung that to him while he was in the womb]
I think I fell asleep again afterwards, because of the anasthetic.
But their crying always woke me up…unlike my husband…
now that is where I think the article is mixed up :-)…it has that affect on the fathers, lol, not the mothers.
Comment by: Jason Horton
3 09/23/08 9:31 AM | Comment Link |Well Hil had all four of our children without surgery so I can’t compare the differences. She had an epidural for the twins to go with the audience of about a dozen medical students which was less than funny.
Honestly though, a healthy baby and a healthy mother are all you’re really after. Everything else is a bonus.
Comment by: Julie Marie
4 09/23/08 6:14 PM | Comment Link |I see quite few women all worked up over the bonding process, fearing if they don’t do things just right the bond with their baby will be less than it could have been–for life. That’s too bad–we moms dont need any more baggage! I also think those moms who tend to worry about the quality of their bond will most likely do just fine…Like Jason said above, a healthy baby and a healthy mother are all you’re really after.
My sister had both her children without medication. I had a scheduled c-section. We both have terrific kids and are well bonded. :)
Comment by: Jason Horton
5 09/24/08 8:01 AM | Comment Link |I feel that I should add something. Mums are these days under considerable pressure to love their children from the instant they conceive. That’s how the media and glossy magazines seem to portray it in my view. A few hundred years ago wealthy mothers had the kid wrapped in swaddling clothes and taken to a wet nurse till they could manage the family estate. Not quite but you get the idea. They’d “bond” once the child could actually do something. This was considered right and proper but nowadays it’s frowned upon as unnatural.
I don’t have the biology to give birth but I do have the intellectual and emotional ability to bond with and care for my children. For some strange reason this is considered to be unusual but welcome rather than the norm while a woman who does not feel an immediate and overwhelming bond is labelled negatively. We are all individuals and some of us take time to form bonds with others. We shouldn’t be judged because it takes us more or less time that what society considers “normal”
We dads are more fortunate. As we are considered to be generally a bit rubbish, nobody places much of an expectation on us to be wonderful and form that unbreakable bond with our offspring. I’m grateful for this because it frees me to actually form a bond with them that is strong precisely because it has never been forced or contrived. Plus I find the small people absolutely fascinating.
Comment by: Helen
6 09/25/08 6:19 AM | Comment Link |Thanks everyone - this is an interesting discussion.
Non-surgical birth is best of course, but when the doctor says you need to have a C-section or you or your baby might be risking their life, you don’t have a choice. You don’t risk anyone’s life over potential bonding issues.
I don’t remember having any bonding problems even though I had two C-sections.
Julie and Jason, I agree - Moms don’t need any more baggage!
Comment by: Julie Marie
7 09/25/08 8:30 PM | Comment Link |oh, I don’t know Helen…that scheduled c-section was a very nice experience for me; I look back on my son’s day of birth with nothing but a warm glow. no sweating, no grimacing…
of course, people look at those pictures of me smiling and giving birth and ask “girl, were you wearing makeup?” and I have to admit yes…figuring there would be pics that would be referred to on a semi regular basis, I got up, showered, did my hair, and prettied up.
haha. sometimes I just crack myself up. but that first family pic, wow, mama sure does look good!
Comment by: Julie Marie
8 09/25/08 8:37 PM | Comment Link |Jason, what you said about fatherhood resonates with what my husband says, although he gets more offended about the general perception that men are the parental bumble-butts than you seem to. He works out his own style with our son. Its a very different bond from what Cody has with me, but it is strong and significant. And luckily for Cody, the things that start to fray my nerves are things daddy can take in stride. Even though we are separated now, he remains involved in our son’s life on a daily basis. I don’t know what the future will hold for us, but I know he will always be a present Daddy for our child, and that is such a source of peace and strength for me.
Comment by: Jason Horton
9 09/25/08 10:40 PM | Comment Link |Julie, “the general perception that men are the parental bumble-butts” works to our advantage because no-body expects us to make an effort. I say it’s an advantage but there’s no great public outcry that 50% of fathers lose contact with their children after divorce. Perhaps a bit more pressure to bond might be of value. There’s enough on the mother that she can spare a bit. ;)
I have many fond memories, I’m sure Hil does too, of coming home from work and literally being handed a kid. “I’ve had enough”, “Your turn”, or just a look of exhaustion told me that the warring forces of motherhood and stress needed a ceasefire. Now they’re older I get to explain “sciencey stuff” for homework and take them out. It’s all good fun.
Comment by: Helen
10 09/28/08 5:32 AM | Comment Link |Julie Marie, I’m glad your son’s father is still very involved with your son. That’s great news.
Jason it’s awesome for Hil that you’re the kind of Dad who could be handed a kid as soon as he got home from work. I’m sure that helped Hil preserve her sanity!
Comment by: Helen
11 09/29/08 4:36 AM | Comment Link |Julie Marie, I just found your other comment. I’m glad the C-section went well for you and hey why not look good for the photos? :)
I’m very white in the first C-section photos, probably because I lost a lot of blood and also I threw up when they gave me the anaesthetic. So, not such a good experience for me on the day. The second one went better on the day and also the recovery seemed quicker.
Comment by: Elaine
12 10/2/08 11:16 AM | Comment Link |Based on my life experiences, I would have to say that every birth is different (I delivered 4 children - 1 died at birth) - I used the Lamaze method of childbirth (my oldest is 39) - I was present for the birth of my first grandchild and not for my 2nd & 3rd.
1. with the birth of each of my children - I remember there was a moment of disconnect where I looked at the child and said how can this be my child? How did this child come from me? I got past that very quickly.(I also breastfeed all my children)
2. I now have 3 grandchildren and I’d be hard pressed to tell you there was any difference in how quickly I connected with them.
Which to me says, even if there is slight edge to the woman who delivers the old fashioned way - the edge quickly disappears.
How else would you explain the capacity for adopted children and parents to have a strong bond?
And certainly, fathers bond quickly with their offspring. Watching my son-in-law with his new son - “my new grandson” this spring demonstrated that to me anew.
And I would also add, waking in a house hearing a child cry - still stimulates me to move - even if isn’t my own child.
Maybe I’m just “wired” that way. :)
Comment by: Helen
13 10/6/08 8:44 AM | Comment Link |Elaine, yes, along with you I suspect that any ‘edge’ to non-surgical deliveries quickly disappears.
I’m glad to hear your son-in-law is entranced with his new son.
I didn’t know one of your children died at birth - what an awful experience to go through :(