Posted by Helen on: 01.27.2009 /
From an article in the Christian Post:
Disgraced evangelical leader Ted Haggard’s former church disclosed Friday that the gay sex scandal that caused his downfall extends to a young male church volunteer who reported having a sexual relationship with Haggard — a revelation that comes as Haggard tries to repair his public image.
Brady Boyd, who succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, told The Associated Press that the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.
Boyd said an “overwhelming pool of evidence” pointed to an “inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship” that “went on for a long period of time … it wasn’t a one-time act.” Boyd said the man was in his early 20s at the time. He said he was certain the man was of legal age when it began.
From a CNN article:
The church agreed to pay the man in exchange for his pledges not to talk publicly about the relationship, Boyd said, referring to a settlement reached by the man’s lawyer and the church’s insurance company. Under the settlement, the church provided the man money to pay his college tuition, moving expenses and counseling, Boyd said.
“This was compassionate assistance. It was to help him move forward, not a settlement to keep him quiet,” said Boyd, senior pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
What bothers me most is all the deceit. Christians are supposed to be honest. When the church asked for donations towards ‘church ministries’ I’m sure the people who gave had no idea they were paying insurance premiums to cover the church because their senior pastor was having an “inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship [...] for a long period of time” with a young male church volunteer. And the CNN article says Ted Haggard is even now denying he had this relationship.
Comment by: Benjamin Ady
1But of *course*! This reminds me of food packaging advertisements which tend to highly amuse me, like “All natural ingredients”. I mean what are they going to say–”All fake ingredients”? Nope–they’re going to say what the people want to hear.
The really sad thing is that as with the spouses of alcoholics, the members of New Life are fairly likely to just keep getting into relationships with toxic leaders, even though they’ve “divorced” Haggard, until they face up to and deal with what it is in *themselves* that caused them to be attracted to Haggard (or his ilk) in the first place.
BICBW
Comment by: Tim
2This coming Sunday the assigned reading is from Mark 1 where Jesus casts out an unclean spirit.
This unclean spirit was in a holy place, a worship gathering.
It was a holy time, the Sabbath.
Right there… in the “church”… a demon
As a follower of Jesus, I realize that in my life, in my church, in our holy gatherings, holy times, and holy places demons can lurk. Dishonesty. Hypocrisy. Addiction. Manipulation.
The Haggard story is humbling, inviting me to take a good long look at what my/our demons might be… and then I pray for Jesus to cast them out.
And as a Christian… I ask forgiveness from those who don’t follow Jesus for the ways we have harmed you.
Peace, Tim
Comment by: Eliza
3It sounds like Ted and Gail Haggard have each prayed, over years, about his sexuality. But that particular “demon” has apparently not been cast out. Is it not a demon? Has Jesus some reason for not answering their prayers? Or is there some other explanation for TH’s ongoing struggles w/ his sexuality?
Comment by: Doreen
4I came close to being on the Oprah show tomorrow (Wed) via Skype to talk about Christianity and homosexuality. No amount of praying can “pray away the gay.” I have friends who have undergone exorcisms, and those did not work either.
My demon was that of deception and denial. My greatest sin was denying the holy/sacred by believing the lies of others who said such peace was unavailable to me because my sin was somehow bigger than any other sin.
I have compassion for Haggard. I hope he can defeat his demons of denial, that he and his family can embrace what is holy/sacred to and for them, and that they can find a faith community where Ted can heal and be Ted.
Comment by: Helen
5Thanks for your comment, Tim.
Doreen wrote:
Doreen, I’m so sorry people told you those lies.
Comment by: Helen
6I just watched Ted Haggard on Oprah and I don’t think he’s in denial anymore. I just posted my thoughts having watched the show: Ted Haggard on Oprah
Comment by: Elaine
7After reading through this - I have to say my focus is not on the homosexuality - but that he committed adultery - broke his wedding vows to his wife.
So, while he may have tried to talk to someone in church leadership and been badly served - I have not read that he sought professional counseling BEFORE he acted on his feelings - to help him face what was leading him to want to cheat on his wife.
(As Jim H. said above, the whole dysfunctional church leadership thing is another issue.)
It says a lot for his wife that she has stayed with him through this time — whatever the final outcome will be…
Comment by: Helen
8From what he said it didn’t sound like professional counseling was something his church community readily turned to.
His wife was on Oprah too. I was glad Oprah asked questions that clarified his wife felt lots of anger and betrayal when the news broke even though her choice was to stay with him. She said “I felt all the pain you could imagine I would have felt”.
They said that early in the marriage he told his wife he had feelings of same sex attraction but he didn’t bring it up again and she assumed he had ‘dealt with it’. So she didn’t believe Mike Jones’ allegations at first and it was a complete shock for her when they turned out to be true.
Comment by: Doreen
9His type of church only believes in Biblical counseling, hence the “keep busier at church” advice. They believe all counsel should only come from scripture. I’m not saying there aren’t some instances when scripture-only counseling may work, but I am not sure this is one of those instances. A “church” counselor may or may not be a “professional” counselor. (One is not supposed to call oneself “counselor” if one is lacking a state license in most states, but that does not stop some people.)